This month we are serving at a retreat camp near the town of Coroico, Bolivia. I use the term “near” loosely, seeing that on our first off weekend, we walked 40 minutes both ways just to get to a small little town (which really consisted of 5 buildings put together) to buy snacks. It was totally worth it.
Our host, Hermano Lucho, is probably the cutest Bolivian man anyone could ever meet. He doesn’t speak English, so the few Spanish speakers on our squad have been doing a lot of translating. The camp we’ve been working and staying at is snuggled in a valley right in the middle of the Andes, and is next to an absolutely gorgeous river that takes your breath away when you first stick your feet in it. We’ve been hauling stones from the river to make walking paths for the campground. When we’re not working, we do a lot of cooking, hammock sitting, movie watching, and horsefly slapping. Seriously, the bugs here are so bad. And I’m not just talking about a couple of itchy, red bug bites. I’m talking about a full out hide yo kids, hide yo wife, run for the hills, cause they eating everything up in here type of horsefly war. My left ankle has turned into a cankle. My right foot looks like a balloon. My left pinkie finger resembles a stuffed sausage. And I’m sure tomorrow my face will look similar to Sloth from The Goonies because I had about 5 flies bite it today (because I was wearing jeans, socks, a long sleeved shirt, gloves and tennis shoes. There was nothing left but my face available). Enough about the horseflies, though. You probably aren’t reading this to hear about my swollen and itchy body part problems.
The most important thing that is happened this month has been in my love life. I’ve been romanced. Hosea 2:16 says, ‘“And in that day”, declares the Lord, “you will call me ‘My Husband’ and no longer ‘My Baal.”’ Jump down to verses 19-20 and the Lord continues by saying, “And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the Lord.”
Now, I’m going to be honest. The thought of Jesus being my husband has always kind of freaked me out. It just has. Something about it didn’t sit right with me. I don’t know if it’s because I didn’t fully understand the meaning of marriage, or if I didn’t fully understand the depth of God’s love for me. It was probably both. But this month, God has been romancing me so hard. I keep reading those few verses over and over again and it keeps hitting me how deep the love of Christ is for me. About a week ago, I was sitting in my hammock reflecting on how Christ wants to be first in my life and how he has pursued me and just how massive his love is for me, when I closed my eyes and had the most beautiful vision. (Stay with me here. I’ve never had visions before, but this was so real.)
I was walking down an aisle, dressed in white, like it was my wedding day. I couldn’t see anything around me, just my expression. I was happy…so happy. I looked, and at the end of the aisle was a massive ball of light. It was shining and moving and glowing. As I approached the light, it started to envelope me. It became a huge ribbon of light that moved through me and around me and completely entangled me. It was wonderful. I was so joyful; I was floating on air.
That is the love the Lord has for me and wants for me to experience. A love that beckons me. A love that enwraps me. A love that completely overtakes me. A love that changes me. A love that transcends everything I know. He has that love for me. He is waiting for me.
I’m still learning what it looks like to live out that reality and I’m definitely still working on letting his love penetrate my heart fully. That’s ok though, I’m pretty sure the Lord will give me a while to figure it out.
