If you had asked me six months ago, I would have said training camp could not come sooner, because I knew it would finally make this adventure a reality. And I couldn’t wait.
If you had asked me the night before I left for Georgia, I would have said training camp could not come sooner, because it was true. And I wasn’t ready.
If you had asked me after my plane landed in Atlanta, I would have said that nothing was going according to plan. My flight was late, my bag was lost, and I couldn’t find the Atrium. A younger me would have taken it as a sign.
But as soon as I stepped foot on Z Squad’s campground, none of it mattered. I felt at home. I can’t explain how it happened, and I’m not going to try, because it was all God. I’m not saying that I became instantaneous best friends with my squadmates (I didn’t), but God did fill me with an overwhelming peace.
You’re supposed to be here. You belong on Z Squad.
I didn’t just hear it from God. A gift from my squadmate Jen gave physicality to the sentiment, and a daily reminder. Supporters, squadmates, trainers, complete strangers prayed purpose over me all week. Affirmation – completing the fitness requirement, having life-giving conversations, lowering the hoop to the ground – found me at every turn.
As I started to believe the truth and claim it as my own, God showed me the ways that He has been preparing me for this part of my journey. Seventeen-year-old Hannah would not have applied to The World Race, let alone said yes.
Arriving two weeks late to a summer missions trip and trying to meet 100+ strangers during dinner allowed me to add my squadmates on Facebook months ahead of time and get to know them as opportunity arose. Traveling alone for the better part of the last four years and crying in the airport when things went wrong made delayed luggage seem like small change. Learning vulnerability and intentionality in college let me practice the community living and sharing of the WR lifestyle. God knew these things wouldn’t come easy to me, so He started “training” me early.
At the same time, at training camp, God started to break down the identity I clung to in college. When I moved to Chicago for school, I had very low confidence, and little idea of who God made me to be. As my community spoke into my person, I held tightly onto their words, because I had trouble seeing myself as clearly.
Servant-hearted. Kind. Dependable. Positive. Faithful.
Don’t get me wrong, these are all wonderful characteristics that I hope God will continue to demonstrate in my life. But in a way, in college, they were what set me apart, what made me me, and I couldn’t see it any other way.
Until I met Z Squad. On Facebook, during squad chats, but especially in person, the very traits that defined my being started to slip away. My squadmates were more this or better at that (comparison is a blog post for another time), and I was no longer known for the person I thought I was. God, who am I? How do I fit in here?
You are my daughter. Join me in what I’m doing around the world. Come with me.
That single revelation made a world of difference.
For years, I have heard that God wants to send me, and slowly, I realized that I want to be sent. But send (being the language nerd that I am) almost implies that God isn’t already there. The reality is exactly the opposite. My heavenly Father is at work in His Kingdom all around the world, and He has simply invited me to come along for the ride.
And sure, sometimes, life will be hard. Every day, at least twice a day at training camp, I found myself asking: Can I do this for eleven months? When I was packing up for the hundredth time, when I sweat through all my clothes, when everything just seemed so unnecessarily difficult, I wondered, can I really do this?
Honestly, most of the time, the answer was, and still is, no, I can’t. But by God’s power, and Team Liora and Z Squad beside me, I am willing to try. The real question is, how could I possibly say no?
