It was a Monday night. The sun was just setting on the Jersey shore, the last light casting interesting shadows onto the church ceiling. I sat shivering in a heavily air-conditioned sanctuary. My flip-flops were abandoned under the wooden pews.
It was just over a week into a transformative summer, but I didn’t know that yet.
All I knew then was what God had been pressing on my heart.
Will you commit to one year of full-time gospel ministry after college?
Now, I have to be honest with you. It is really hard for me to say no to God.
I will spend days, weeks, months, making sure that I am hearing God’s voice correctly, but once I know what He wants, the Holy Spirit doesn’t give me much room to make excuses.
(I had learned that for myself just a few days earlier, when the skeletons in my closet, despite an adamant attempt to keep them locked up, found their way out during a women’s time. I certainly did not have a say in the matter.)
Making the commitment wouldn’t be easy. It wouldn’t even make sense.
I didn’t know where I would go, or what I would do.
But God had something in mind, and He was waiting for my answer. So I said yes.
I started to make it a part of my plan. You know, The Plan. The one that God likes to change, or make adjustments to. The one I have, because I’m a J on the Myers-Briggs and not knowing freaks me out.
A few months later, my friend Kara announced that she was going on The World Race.
I liked her status, and looked it up online. I specifically remember thinking, ‘that’s not for me.’ I made a mental note to follow her journey, and moved on with my life, The Plan always at the back of my mind.
Then, last summer, I came across this blog post, and my heart began to stir:
“The life she describes is what I want for my walk with God and the world we live in…there is nothing I want more than to live the life of a radical follower of Jesus. I want to serve and pour out into others until there is nothing left. I want to be at a place where my being ends, and the Holy Spirit begins. I want that for this life on this earth, because presumably, things would look different on a New Earth redeemed.” – 9.5.13.
Let me be clear – I don’t believe that The World Race is the only way to experience any of these things. But God used that beautifully written entry, and the conversations I had with family and friends in the days to follow, to ask me to reconsider my earlier verdict.
“I read [a lot of blog posts] last night. I wanted to know what it could look like to really do this. The possibilities excite me, haunt me. They kept me awake last night.”
That was how this journey began.
And that brings us to today.
Two years since I made that promise to God. One year since I started to pray for wisdom, discernment and guidance on this decision. Ten days since I found out about my acceptance to The World Race.
A lot has happened. I hope to share more of it with you in the posts to come.
It hasn’t been easy. It hasn’t always made sense. This is really not a story about how I figured out my life.
This is a story of God’s faithfulness, of His provision and goodness and grace and love. It’s about His Plan for the Kingdom, and for every person within it.
It’s what will carry me through the next leg of this adventure.
To September and the eleven months afterward.
Even to the end of the age.
