I am sitting in an empty classroom. Empty chairs, empty desk, empty walls. All this emptiness signifies the end. The end of an incredible year. As I scan the empty classroom, MY empty classroom, I can’t help but think of the precious students that filled these seats. School only ended for the final time yesterday, but I miss them already. I miss their precious smiling faces, funny jokes, laughing together, learning together, sweet “I love you Miss Henderson” notes, seeing their creativity come out in projects, absurd questions, and their hunger for God. This year went by fast, but it sure was sweet.
I had no idea what to expect from my first year of teaching. It was NEVER my plan to teach. Ever. However, God is pretty good at leading you off your path and onto his. He knows what is best for you. He knows what you need even if its the furthest thing from what you want. In retrospect, even though I had hesitations about this job, I am a better person after this year. Sure, it was incredibly hard, frustrating, and exhausting at times, but I couldn’t imagine a better first job.
God molded me this year. I know I shouldn’t be surprised, but I am blown away by the things He has been teaching me. HE IS SO GOOD. I would like to share with you some things I learned through teaching this year:
11 Things I Learned From Teaching
1. I will never be an organized person
Sometimes as you grow up certain habit grow up as well. However, sometimes you discover that no matter how old you get certain habits will always be present. I had the preposterous idea that once I had a “big girl job” I would suddenly become an organized person. False. This was a stupid thought. I always have and will always be an unorganized person. Unfortunately, teaching requires an incredible amount of organization. While teaching has not suddenly turned me into an OCD neat freak, it has shown me how to accept my flaws and how to work with them. I may never be an organized person, but I can admit this to myself in advance and adjust accordingly. I may do things in a messy and creative way, but I will accomplish whatever task is asked of me.
2. Decisiveness is not a bad thing
For some reason I think sometimes we are told it is bad to be decisive. We are afraid to voice our opinion because we don’t want to step on anyones toes, or be labeled as the “aggressive type.” I have fallen into this trap. I have labelled myself as indecisive because I didn’t want to hurt anyone when making decisions, so I would just avoid them, when really I had an opinion, I just didn’t want to voice it. When you are a teacher, however, you do not have time to be indecisive. Your whole lesson is planned around using the computer lab and all the computers get a virus? Your class need to take outdoor pictures for a project but it rains all week? Technology fails, activities don’t take as long as planned, and students struggle understanding concepts longer than time allotted? Things happen, but what do you do? There is not time to be timid in decisions, being decisive keeps you in control and it helps you avoid stress. Knowing what you want and actually being able to make quick decisions is not a bad thing, it is essential. I am thankful for the opportunity to hone this skill this year.
3. Communication is important
I have always known that communication is important, but I feel better equipped in communicating my thoughts, words, and ideas in an effective, concise, and understandable manner. I have also become quite skilled at making a statement, then immediately rephrasing the statement in a simpler form, as I have had many instances where simplification is required due to blank stares received from students.
4. Its okay to delegate
In the past I have been the type to say “yes” to everything even if I didn’t have time. Not only do I say yes, but I want to complete all these tasks completely on my own. Because, if you want to do something right you have to do it yourself. Right? However, this is unrealistic. I can’t commit to everything and still expect to give each commitment my whole heart. It would be easier to do all my student’s assignments for them, because I know I would do them correctly, but that defeats the purpose. That is an extreme example because no teacher would ever do all their students work for them, but it has shown me a visual example of the pros of delegating. Sometimes when you share a work load or a burden with others amazing things are created. When you trust others and allow them to opportunity to excel, they exceed your expectations. Delegating is a way to say I trust you and I know you will succeed. I have also learned that people won’t hate me if I tell them “no.” I have turned down opportunities and tasks because I simply didn’t have time to complete them, and no one hated me for it. Letting go of responsibilities to another person his hard, and I am terrible at it, but this year has shown me I can trust others, and that I simply cannot be someone who does it all. It is freeing to relinquish control. I think I’ll start letting others help me more often.
5. Introversion and sleep are essential
In college I was known for pulling an absurd amount off all-nighters (art major probs am I right?) It is also known that I am an extrovert and I LOVE to socialize. One of the hardest lessons to learn was that teaching brings out the introvert in me, and its completely strange and confusing. I would come home from school for the day and avoid conversations with anyone because I had conversed so much all day. What?? I would have so much grading to do or lesson plans to make that I would have to pass on social outings in order to finish work. What?? After a long week of teaching an ideal weekend consisted of going to bed early and catching up on Netflix. What?? The best nights were the nights that I got into bed by 10:00pm or earlier. WHAT?? Strange. So strange, but necessary. I now understand that a little introversion is essential to staying on top of “adult size” work loads.
6. Change is not so scary
In my last post I spoke of my fear of change. However, that fear of change is changing!! I have now completed the most unnerving change in my life thus far, the shift from college student to working adult, and survived! In fact, I not only survived, but thrived! I am also about to undergo an intense lifestyle change come September. Change is not bad. Change allows you to grow, it brings new people and experiences in your life, and it refreshes you from the monotony of life. Yes, it is scary, and often times unwanted, but it is good. I can now say that I, Hannah Henderson, am a fan of change. Not to say that I don’t miss old places, friends, and experiences, but if everything always stays stagnate and unvarying that is not truly living. Bring on the change, I’m ready.
7. Singleness is a gift
This has been a touchy and discouraging subject for me in the past, but it has been lesson that God has pressed on my heart this year. I would not be where I am today if I had not been single for so long (AKA, the past 22 years). It has allowed me to put my whole heart in my present situations, to be molded in an individualistic way, to fully come to know and understand who I am as a person, and to journey through life without annoying baggage or hurtful memories. That is not to say that extended singleness does not come without its own set of hurts; it truly is a unique type of pain that not many understand. I myself haven’t been able to appreciate my singles or truly be thankful for it until this year. The fact of the matter is if I had met anyone to marry in college like I always thought I would, I would not be going on the World Race. Period. Even if I was just dating someone as I exited college I wouldn’t go. And I have wanted so badly to go. So while it seems like I have been waiting for an eternity for my chance at a real relationship to arise, I have now come to see how much of a gift my singleness will be on the Race. I am thankful God has blessed me in this way. Do I aways want to be single, no, but I am praising God for the first time that I am and will be single while on the Race. This season of singleness, albeit a long season, has been a gift, and I will continue to treasure it until I am given a new gift.
8. Grace is never deserved
As a teacher I am constantly giving out grace. Not only dealing with grades, but in daily interactions. Kids are annoying, they don’t live up to their potential, and they don’t always show you respect, but you can still love them. High school is a hard time to navigate. Realizing that many students at this age are just trying to figure out their place in the world changes everything. Forgiving and celebrating students for who they are is the sweetest thing you can do for your them. Even the students that are most difficult to love, I have come to discover, ALWAYS have more to their story than you ever thought possible. I have learned to be the type of person that lets grace flow freely, even when it is hard, or even when the student doesn’t deserve it.
9. Self confidence is possible
I don’t know that this is necessarily a lesson, but it is something I have left this year with in my heart. Teaching has stretched me, it has challenged me, and it has changed me. More so than anything it has made me a more confident person. Confident in my abilities, gifts, talents, strengths, weaknesses, and in who I am. When every day of your job requires you to stand in front of others and say intelligent, helpful, and instructive things you have to believe that you are strong enough to do it. Even on the hard days you have to believe that you have something of value to say, if you allow doubt to consume you in any moment you will be overwhelmed. There is no room for doubt in teaching. Which has shown me there is no room for doubt in my every day life either. Countless times I have not said something or not done something because I didn’t have confidence in myself, I said “no” to coming on the Race for so long because I did not believe I was strong enough. This year has taught me it is not worth your time giving into the lies that tell you you’re not good enough. Get out there, enjoy life, believe in yourself. It is an exciting and freeing way to live.
10. Adulthood isn’t that bad
Adulthood isn’t bad, in fact, is incredibly freeing. Yes, there are some difficult things I now have to deal with (i.e. taxes, insurance, doctor and car repair bills, and student loans) but overall it is exciting. I can make my own decisions, go anywhere, do anything, and fully support myself. Growing up is cool. To anyone college age or younger, don’t wish your childhood away, but also know that I have been “adulting” for a year now, and I can say that is it a good place to be. As wonderful as my time as an adolescent was, there are many exciting things ahead! Be happy with where you are, but also don’t dread adulthood, because its pretty great.
11. Saying goodbye is hard
A year ago I said goodbye to my home for the past 4 years and moved on to a new adventure, and that was hard, but slowly I began to settle in to my new home. Now I am on the brink of leaving my home again saying goodbye all over again to a place I love. It seems as if I only just moved into my classroom and now I am moving out. I didn’t expect to teach alongside a staff that felt more like family than co-workers. I didn’t expect my students to feel like my little brothers and sisters. I am so confident in my decision to go on the Race, but I didn’t expect saying goodbye to be so hard. I feel as though I only just met my students for the first time, and now we have all said our goodbyes. It isn’t easy. I will miss everyone at ETCA. I will always remember our time together fondly. The students stole my heart and filled my days with joy! Yes, I have said goodbye, but I will be thinking and praying for each student and teacher often.
On to the next adventure
-Hannah
