As many of you know I was accepted into WR in early January. Since then I have been trying to mentally, emotionally, and physically prepare my heart for what the next year holds. Being that freshman year at Appalachian is almost over, many of my friends are starting to ask me if I am “ready” for my trip. I put quotes around ready because what does “ready” really mean? Am I ready to eat food I have never heard of/ probably do not want to know what they translate to? Am I ready to leave my closest friends and family for 9 months? Am I ready to live outside of my comfort zone 24/7? No. Of course not. Can you really “be ready” for that?
Leaving home for 9 months can be either terrifying or the most exciting adventure of your life. I have gone back and fourth with this. No, I guess I would not say that I am terrified, but with all of the chaos is our world today, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little scared to leave the comfort of good ol’ North Carolina.
Yes, leaving everyone and my everyday life is extremely scary and nerve-racking to the point where I could breakdown if I think about it too long. It’s just the fact that I know for certain that God will take care of me next year I have no reason to be scared. Since January there has not been a day where I have not thought about the race. Some days I am so excited I can’t contain it. Others I am super stressed that all I can do is journal, which apparently helps more than I could have ever imagined.
I guess I am writing this blog because I want you all to know that I am scared. Yes, I admit it. God has placed it on my heart to do mission work and even though I am so thankful for that I also want to know why because, am I really fit to do this? I have complete faith that I am supposed to go to Thailand, South Africa, and Nicaragua. I just sometimes wonder if this is how my life has always been laid out to be.
What I can say is this: I am ready to be molded by God’s hands into the person He wants me to be. I am ready to meet my team that I will be spending the next 9 months with. I am ready to meet my host families I will live with. I am ready for my relationship with God to grow and be able to feel His presence every waking moment of each day. Those things, I am so ready for.
But…
It will also be one of the hardest journeys that I ever go on. I have decided to fully commit my life to having 3 homes next year that I know nothing about other than it is going to be hot. That scares me. Not the “it being hot” part, but the fact that I know nothing about where I will be living.
So, am I ready to leave my family for 9 months? No. But because I know that God will be my side the entire time there is no reason to worry. He is blessing me with new families across seas that will love on me just as well. Even though there are so many things that I am not ready for, there are so many more things I am ready for that everything else seems so small. So, Here I am, Lord, send me.
Lastly, aside from all of the above, I want to thank everyone who has thus far donated towards my trip and/ or prayed for me. I cannot even express to you how much I appreciate you. This trip would not be happening without you and I have been so overwhelmed with the love that has been sent my way. Love you all.
