Dumb. I hate that word. So. Much. People take what others say about them and it becomes their identity. The other day when we were preaching in a village, I met a girl who was mute. She was the sweetest little thing. When my translator told me her condition she described her as dumb. (Now, I know that there are differences culturally and linguistically. Maybe it doesn’t carry such a derogatory connotation in Telugu.) It broke my heart to hear that word spoken over her.
Most nights during ministry the Indians sing worship songs for us and we sing a few for them. On this particular night, this girl stood up and walked right up to the microphone to sing praises to her King. It may have just been noises, but oh was it joyful unto the Lord. The children started to laugh at her and my heart shattered into even more pieces. Her worship was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. She didn’t care what others thought about her, she only cared about bringing praise to God. I want to be like her. I want to be dumb if it means that my worship comes from the most pure of places in my heart. She may be called dumb, but she is the smartest of them all because she loves Jesus with her whole heart and it’s beautiful.
Ministry this month has been a big ole roller coaster of emotions. Some nights I walk away wondering how six American women could have impacted the Kingdom in the few short hours we spend in the villages. Each night we go to a different village. Never to return to the same one. That makes it hard because we aren’t getting to see any of the fruit being produced. But my Father has been so gracious as to teach me to rely on His promises. To rely on His character and press into His faithfulness. This month I haven’t felt the presence of God in my every day life. It has been stretching for me because normally He speaks to me everyday. So clearly and so beautifully. And while I know that He is still with me, I have missed the intimacy with my King. This too is teaching me to rely on His promises. In Romans 4:20 it says, “No distrust made him waver concerning the promises of God but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised.” My heart for this year is to believe just that. I will always give God the glory even when I cannot see what He is doing.
On Saturday, I was wrecked for the people of the village we visited. We prayed for so many people who were suffering. Abortion, a crippled woman with no parents, a woman whose sister was dying of HIV, a sweet baby girl who was losing strength as she grew older and could no longer speak. My prayers were prayed in faith that God knows what they need and that He is so generous to meet them where they are at. When we sang our worship song during service, I could barely hold the tears back. I could feel Gods presence and knew He was at work but felt so desperate for His hand to touch them.
After service the woman with the sister dying of HIV asked me to pray for her. Her first request was for her neck. She was suffering pain and wanted God to heal her. After I was done praying I asked how her neck was and she got a big grin on her face and said that it was gone! God was pouring faith into our souls for what came next. Our translator came over and explained to me about her sister with HIV. I told the beautiful woman that we were going to pray in faith that her sister would be healed. She agreed with me and as I began to pray we both began to weep. You see, in India, they don’t show their emotions. They keep it bottled up and to themselves. This moment brought freedom and healing. While I will never know for sure if the sister was healed, I am choosing to believe that God healed her. I am learning to jump in prayer with my whole heart. I am putting all my eggs in Gods basket and trusting that He is going to do what is best. His thought are higher than mine and His ways are higher than mine.
Though I walked away with a broken heart for these precious people, I walked away knowing my God in a new way. I walked away with tears. I walked away with hope.
When I was on the plane to India I asked God what His heart for India was. I asked Him what our purpose in coming here was. One of the words He gave me was bridge. On Friday I was so blessed to have seen this come to life. The pastor and family of the village we visited had been praying for their father to find salvation in Jesus. I prayed for this man and walked away. As he was leaving I felt the Lord say that I needed to go challenge him. I grabbed my translator and chased after him. I asked him if he truly understood who Jesus was. I asked if he knew that he didn’t have to get himself together to come before the throne of God. As he nodded his head yes, excitement flooded through my soul. I asked him if he was ready to accept the Lord in that moment. He said yes. When I told him I would walk him through the prayer he said that he wanted to go home and do it with his son. That made me even happier. You see, I take no credit for what was happening in his heart. God was preparing him far before I saw his face. I was just a bridge for him to walk over. The first time I greeted him with Wanda Nalu (praise the Lord in Telugu) he was less than enthused. At the end of the night when I said goodbye for the last time (also Wanda Nalu, it is used for most greetings) his face light up and he said it back to me with a huge grin on his face. Though I wasn’t there to see it happen, I know that God had a big party in Heaven that night to welcome home the lost sheep. I am so in love with Jesus.
Please pray for India. Pray that God would continue to welcome the lost sheep home. Pray that He would encourage the believers. Pray that He would continue to teach me of His steadfast love and faithfulness for His people. We leave in less than 9 days. I can’t believe month one is already coming to a close. I am so sad to leave the host family we have been staying with but know that these goodbyes and short seasons have purpose. While I will grieve the loss, I look forward to the fruit that has come and will come from India. Thank you, Jesus, for loving India, for loving me, and for loving our hosts!
