So I’m supposed to write about a church service. But I want to try and explain is about more than a church service.
The first few days of the month were very different from the rest. When we arrived, there was a pastor from Virginia that arrived with us. He settled in as we settled in. That night we started ministry alongside that pastor, Demontae Evans.
It wasn’t an ordinary service; it was a healing and prophetic conference. I was a bit taken back and though, I dove in, my heart was guarded.
That’s what we did. We went to healing conferences, and I continued to experience things about the Holy Spirit I didn’t understand, and still don’t. But that’s the beauty of it all right? That we won’t ever really understand?
Anyways I wanted to know, I wanted to understand.
I spoke to my team, messaged people about the why behind what I don’t understand, and did some research. I had all of the things I was learning running around my head as we went into our last day of ministry with Demontae. We traveled 3 hours away and went to our first church service of the day.
Sitting there and listening I knew Holy Spirit was trying to speak to my but I wasn’t focusing or listening at all, and I finally relinquished and opened my journal to have the conversation I was avoiding.
I discovered a few things.
I don’t trust this aspect of God, Holy Spirit, not fully anyways.
Through praying and conversing with Holy Spirit, I tried to make an effort to accept that part of Him. It’s a part that there is no possibility for me to have any control over. I want to trust but I don’t. I told Him (HS) there was doubt in my spirit and he told me
[I will bridge your doubt and your faith]
Then I started to have doubts about whether I was even listening to him correctly. To which he said
[Trust my voice]
The whole journal conversation with Holy Spirit ended with him telling my to step into intimacy and try to personally experience what I don’t understand. I wasn’t sure what that meant.
We spent the rest of the day being hosted by the pastor’s family of the church we visited. We ate so much food (Romanian hospitality at its finest). Then went back to the church for the evening service, which would be more saturated with healing and prophecy. I wanted to be fully involved, and I felt the nudging to read some scripture.
Recently, when I am unsure of what to read, I will simply ask Holy Spirit what I should be reading and dwelling in.
So I asked HS what I should read and I was directed to John 4, the story of the Samaritan woman at the well. I read through it and paused on verse 24 which says
“God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth.”
Wow what a great reminder. I wrote it in my journal and put my journal and bible away.
The service started and Demontae started his sermon, where he shortly preached on one passage, and focused on one verse.
John 4:24
The exact passage I had read and gotten pulled to.
I turned to Elise with eyes that said, are you kidding me? To which her response was rather quizzical.
I wasn’t surprised, but more…affirmed in my listening. And I got super involved in the service. I worshiped however I felt lead (which included a lot of vocal trills) and actually let myself feel the spirit moving in the room rather than putting up the walls I had before.
I continue to wrestle with Holy Spirit in my life and letting it take over every aspect. God has revealed to me several times that I like to exercise control over my relationship with him, and I think this is part of it. I will always be learning about Holy Spirit, its power, direction, compassion, and its dwelling in my soul personally.
This was an incredibly cool moment from this last month and I hope to have so many more encounters with Holy Spirit on the last two months of the race!
Chow!
