Okay so here is the thing: This idea of pain associated with love has been something I’ve been working through longer than I consciously know. Compassion and love for people is almost never happy go lucky, it comes with a lot of hardship, pain and disappointment, BUT it also comes with so much joy.
When I originally thought about love, my brain was automatically wired to think of red hearts, wedding bells, and couples holding hands. I never thought of holding a grieving friend, getting coffee for a stressed out coworker, or having a conversation about Christ with someone just starting to understand God’s infinite love. There is this misconception, at least one that I had, that love doesn’t come with pain. That when we choose to love people, everything will be freaking awesome.
NO.
BACKTRACK.
NOT TRUE.
So lets dive into this a bit.
God is love. (1 John 4:8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.)
This explanation will completely fall short, and I’m not even going into the fundamental characteristics of love here but…Think of the vastness of God, more than we could ever possibly wrap our head around. Think of the amount of love for every person who has, is and will be on the earth. Think about all the examples of love in the Bible. Everything God did for the Israelites in the Old Testament to keep them safe and draw them to himself as well as everything Jesus did and said to people while he was here. Including the ultimate demonstration of love; Jesus giving his life as the ultimate payment filling the punishment required for every sin any of us have or will commit. Can you imagine how much pain there was not only physically with being crucified, but spiritually and emotionally as Jesus was separated from his Father by sins he didn’t deserve to pay for? No you can’t.
Think about the pain and disappointment Jesus experienced during his ministry. People doubted him, people hated him, and people disappointed him. In the Old Testament, the Israelites continued to turn away from God, no matter how much God relentlessly loved and pursued them. Don’t you think that was painful? How much God wanted their hearts, for them to love him back and they continued to turn from him? I was reading in Hosea, a wonderful book about God’s pursuit of his people.
Hosea 11:1-3 “1When Israel was a child, I loved him, and out of Egypt I called my son. 2 But the more they were called, the more they went away from me. They sacrificed to Baals and they burned incense to images. 3It was I who taught Ephraim to walk, taking them by the arms; but they did not realize it was I who healed them.”
The whole book of Hosea is this back and forth explanation of how much God wants them to come back to him, and how much they continue to stray. Don’t you think that kind of relentless love was painful?
Now to be clear I am not saying love is pain. They are not one in the same. Pain is a result of brokenness in connection to loving. We experience pain because we are imperfect, broken and sinful. So in the above explanation; God’s love is perfect, but he is choosing to love imperfect people that have chosen to turn away = pain.
So when we, followers of Christ, are trying to love the people around us we need to come to the realization of some things; things that took me a long time to even acknowledge.
-We need to first and foremost spend time loving God, and letting him love us. When you want your heart to rest with the Lord, time spent there is so important. God is perfect, his love is perfect and it will never fail us. How else are we supposed to have the stamina to continually pour love out to the people around us? His love is permanent and unconditional. Even so, I will often shove time with the Lord off to the side. When I do that I cannot love the people around me well, because I am trying to love them of my own accord and not God’s.
-We need to learn to expect pain when we love. Love is a choice; sometimes it is easy, sometimes it seems impossible. But the act of loving people is how Christ’s hope for everyone on this earth is spread. When we faithfully love people it builds relationships and opportunities to not only actively love like Christ, but also verbally share it. When we vulnerably and honestly love people and they fall away, or disappoint, or when we believe we have failed them there is immense pain that comes with that. But that brokenness is what brings us back to depending on God. Dwell in his goodness and his plan.
-When we get hurt from loving people, DON’T STOP. So many times people decide loving people isn’t worth it. But let me tell you it is. Even from the small amount I have intentionally loved people I can tell you that. When we love God, we will desire to love people, perhaps not right away, but as your relationship with God grows so will your desire to do what he has commanded us to. No matter how much pain we experience while loving people there is 10x the amount of joy that results. When we love people we get to see God’s plan unfold just a little bit right before us.
-We are not Christ. Seriously though, how many times have I gotten frustrated because I wasn’t faithful enough, or intentional enough, or my love wasn’t enough. I just wasn’t enough. Here is the thing: I WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH because I am not God. I am an imperfect and broken human. Through not ever being enough, remember that God IS. He is in pursuit of every person we try to love. You and I are just one way he is trying to reach them.
Loving will hurt, but it’s not something to shy away from. Get rid of the Hollywood version of love, how shallow it is, and pursue real, intentional and relentless love with Christ. He wants that, he has wanted that since the beginning, and he wants that with every person. And if you already have this, spread it! How much joy has it already brought to your life!?
I hope this explains what I’ve been processing through recently, and the truths God has been speaking into me. Thanks for reading! Please be praying for my trip! I still need to raise $7,000 so please donate if you feel lead to!
Romans 5:8 – “but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Psalm 86:15 – “But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.”
Ephesians 2: 4-5 –“But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions- it is by grace you have been saved.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-8- “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.”
