Never in my life have I been this low. Don’t worry… I’m not depressed and I’m certainly not coming home. I know I’ve said this before, but the past three months God has been doing a tremendous amount of work in my life. Among my team, we often refer to it as weeding. God is weeding out the things in my life that are keeping me from being who He desires me to be. I never realized how deep He could go.
I’ve come to the point where He’s pulling up things that seem foreign to me, but as soon as the proverbial light is shone on them, they are undeniable. To go into too much detail would make for an incredibly long, overdrawn blog. So let me just say this: I’m well below what I considered my breaking point. This may sound depressing… but as the days go by I can see that I am exactly where I should be and that gives me hope, it gives me joy.
You see, my whole life I’ve had the knowledge of Christ. He’s been commonplace in my life. That is a blessing that I realize I’ve taken for granted for way too long. When people speak of the time before they knew Christ… I’ve always thought “Well, I’ve always known Him… He’s always been around…”
But I’ve learned that there is a big difference between knowing of Christ and truly knowing Christ. I believe in Jesus. I have for years. But I see now… I believed in my head but really it never reached my heart. The gospel has become dull, something it should absolutely never be.
So God broke me. He pulled up one thing after another until I was so full of shame and brokenness that I could see Him for who He is. I saw my desperate need for a Savior.
He has brought me back to the basics.
It hurts my pride a bit to admit that. This former Bible School student is relearning the Gospel. But from this place of brokenness it means so much more than it ever did before.
In a state of complete broken, dependence I return to the foundation of my faith and I rebuild.
What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
What can make me whole again? Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
Oh, precious is the flow that makes me white as snow…
No other fount I know. Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
This is all my hope and peace. Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
This is all my righteousness. Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
Oh, precious is the flow that makes me white as snow.
No other fount I know. Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
