I hear so many people speak of hearing from God. The Holy Spirit speaks to them… and they recognize His voice. To hear from God. To know His voice. To recognize when he prompts. It’s something that I’ve never quite grasped, but it’s something I so desire. The Holy Spirit’s work in our lives is still so new to me… and at times I find myself still doubting His power. But then I think back.. I think back to the way the Spirit moved in me one night at training camp. I think about the times I’ve been completely consumed by His presence. There is no doubting Him.
Honestly, the fact that these words are coming out of my mouth is totally crazy to me. The word “Supernatural” still freaks me out quite a bit. Adventures in Missions pushes the supernatural aspects of God and at times it’s a little overwhelming to me. It’s just all still so new… and I fought it for so long. But… even through the hesitation, there is something pulling me into the supernatural. I know there is more and I desire to find it.
I’ve been praying for God’s voice to be more evident to me. I’ve been searching for His voice. I’ll admit, it’s been a bit discouraging. I’ve become frustrated and unsure of what I’ve been experiencing. But as a few things have come together, I realize now that He has been speaking, it just took awhile for me to realize it.
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you.” (Matt 7:7)
I asked; He answered.
God is speaking to me. I’ve had a few experiences where as I was writing or praying words have come out of me that I didn’t even think. Out of nowhere, I prayed something over the Parliament building that I didn’t intend to… or as I wrote in my journal I wrote something to myself that I know did not come from me. I think the truth of what was happening began to sink in today.
We’ve gone on a few prayer walks around Darwin this month. Every time we have gone God has put the same image into my mind. I have seen water flooding the area I was praying over.
As I sat on a bench praying over an outdoor mall… I saw water flooding the entire street.
As I sat on the steps inside the supreme court building… I saw water rushing down the entire staircase.
I thought this was just wishful thinking. I hoped that my prayers were flooding the place I was praying over… that God was answering them. And I believe He was, but He is also using those images to teach me something.
Last night as I talked with Erin and Raven about the Holy Spirit, Erin began to share that she has woken up a few times with visions. She wasn’t too certain about them… but she felt she had one for me.
She saw a canal. I don’t know all too much about them, but from what I understood, they are used to irrigate fields. The farmer turns a wheel to release water to fill the field. All of the water drains into the canal. The farmer has full control of when it starts and when it shuts off. She saw a young girl in the canal, flailing and struggling to gain control of herself. Then she saw the girl’s father laying across the bars at the bottom of the canal. The girl stopped fighting and rested on top of her father allowing him to cradle her in his arms.
As she spoke, God reminded me of the images He had given me of rushing water. I prayed for God to show me what He had to teach me through Erin’s vision and my own. As my mind began to connect the two, I had the feeling in my gut that I get when God is teaching me something huge. That feeling of nervous excitement that I just can’t deny.
During our prayer walks, I prayed for His Glory and His Power to flood wherever I was praying and I saw the rushing water filling the space around me. Last night He showed me that as I’m searching for the ways He speaks to me, I have begun to allow myself to become overwhelmed. I’ve been trying to find His voice by my own strength and I am failing fast. That flood that I was praying for is overwhelming me. I am flailing and struggling in the flood of His Glory and Power.
I am that little girl and I need to stop using my own strength and simply rest on the chest of my Father. I’m trying to jump in too deep, too fast. I need to allow Him to cradle me as I learn about His voice. I need to trust God and allow Him to reveal Himself in His own time.
I prayed a week ago for God to speak to me in new ways. I asked Him to speak to me. I asked Him to lead me by His Spirit. I find it amazing that this week, He spoke to me in an undeniable way (through someone else that had no clue what I had prayed for) to tell me to stop trying so hard to hear Him. All I have to do is open myself to Him… and He will speak.
