As my final introductory blog, I was tasked to write about my expectations of The World Race. I sat down at my computer multiple times to write this blog and the words just wouldn't come.
Don't get me wrong… I have so many thoughts running through my head about the coming year. I have so many questions… so much anticipation and anxiety… but when it came to verbalizing it all…. nada.
As I waited for my church service to begin this evening, there I sat again with this computer attempting to start the post. So many random ideas and thoughts… but nothing concrete… nothing that set me off in excitement, typing as fast as my fingers would allow as my past blog post had. So I gave up once again.
The service began, the band started to play and our time of musical worship started. I can't even say that it was the words of the songs.. or the emotional response the music brought forth… it was God speaking to me. I began to pray.. I prayed about the World Race. I prayed about my expectations. I prayed about my desires… my passion. I prayed about the struggles the past week had brought about. Then I had the strong urge.. one I couldn't resist.. to grab the small notebook I carry with me.
I couldn't write the words fast enough. Grammatically, it's not perfect… it's just me, pouring out my heart. I hope you can understand it 😉
Here's the outcome:
"I feel my need for You… now more than ever.
What can I say? What can I do? But offer this heart, oh God, completely to you.
I need Your strength.
Your provision.
Your peace.
I need Your hope.
I need Your grace.
I need YOU.
I need YOU.
I need YOU.
All of ME needs more of YOU.
If I've learned anything the past few weeks it is that I need you in my everything. In my every DAY.
God has already began to show me His provision. Oh, how He loves us.
I have this story. It may seem silly, but it's about a sandwich & how God used that sandwich to bring me hope & to teach me to trust Him…. I had just learned that I was accepted days before. I was at work and the reality of the financial aspect had just truly kicked in. I was discouraged. I was weighed down. I hadn't eaten anything that day and I was weak and feeling sick. My day was simply not going well. To add to it all, I realized that I had forgotten to bring something for lunch. I was in the back, bathing a dog, and almost in tears I prayed "Lord, teach me to trust You. Increase my faith… and get me through this day." Not even ten minutes later one of my co-workers came to me and told me she was going to the grocery store next door to get lunch and that she was going to get me a sandwich. No expectation that I would pay her back. In fact, when I offered.. she said no.
She may not realize it… (And if you're reading this Niki, thank you..) but God used her to answer a prayer and to meet my need at that moment.
I've tried and tried to verbalize my expectations for The World Race. Nothing was coming out.
Even in small ways, God is already beginning to rock my world. He is shaking the foundation of who I am and who I think He is…
My expectations?
I expect that He's not going to stop amazing me. God is going to amaze me with His people. With His love, His grace, His mercy, His provision. He is going to amaze me through the brokeness of myself and others and all that He is going to do through that brokeness.
God is GOOD.
God is all I need."
Thanks again for reading.
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