What does one do when "God's will" looks different to two different people. Could God be saying different things? I'm not sure. What I do know though, is who Jesus is and what His ministry looked like. Through Jesus' life, I know what the kingdom of God looks like.
Towards the beginning of Ukraine, I was confronted by someone who thought I was outside of God's will. I don't particularly want to go into the details, but let's just say, the Enemy knows what will cut the deepest. I was so broken because this criticism is something I have struggled with for a long time. I expected it to come from one place, but only received support and love there. Instead, it came from somewhere completely unexpected. I was knocked straight off my feet.
When it had sunk in, Mary immediately jumped into action and ran to get my other teammates. They covered me in truth and prayer. I remembered how God had had His hand in the whole process, guiding me the entire way. I sought the Lord's counsel and confirmation all along the way. I'm so blessed to be covered in prayer and support by my team: Lindsay, Julia, Ashley, Lydia, Mary, and Mikala. My squad leader, Rachel, and Caleb's team also had a hand in the healing process, but in a less direct way.
After I calmed down, we went downstairs to worship. It was such a sweet time! It was full of praise and healing. Rachel brought flags for us to use in worship. I was nervous to even pick them up because I had never used them before and didn't "know how." On this night though, I thought it appropriate to dance with the Lord in private. I've always joked and said, "If I could have any spiritual gift, I'd want it to be the gift of dance." At first it was a little awkward because I was in the laundry room and there wasn't much room in there. Later I moved to the dining room then the living room where there is no furniture. I can only describe the feeling after as one of freedom.
That night I danced my hurt away and received healing and freedom. Now I use the flags as a way to connect with God and engage my whole body in worship. It's a beautiful life! For my whole life I worshiped sitting down, singing verse, chorus, verse, chorus, and connected with God in a very cognitive way. I have started to move away from that now – in no way because I don't like it. Worship has become more fluid and relational. I am not very crazy in worship and typically remain contemplative, but dancing with the flags unlocks something deep inside of me. Jesus and I have great conversations while we're dancing. I've also recently learned of the power the flags hold in the spiritual realm. I will no longer take them for granted, but will enter into that type of worship with reverence and respect for the power it holds. Once the flags are made, they are prayed over, and sent to the recipient. Each one has a specific purpose, ie. refreshment, spiritual warfare, wisdom, therefore each one can bring about different results. On the first night I danced with them, the night of my confrontation, I danced with the spiritual warfare and refreshment flags. I LOVE coming away from worship just dripping sweat! When that happens, I know it's been an amazing time with God!
