Here's my update for this month; it's definitely been a crazy one! If you haven't already, you need to read my blog and find out the crazy ways God has been working. I've seen God very active during this month, stretching and growing me. I LOVE Tanzania! Ministry-wise it's probably been my favorite country so far.
As you know, I am not too fond of children 24/7. I traced this back to a certain break-up. Since then, I haven't really had a desire to be a mother/spend lots of time with children. I didn't want to spend all of my time with kids before the break-up, but I did enjoy them and had a serious desire to be a mother. Well, God has grown me in one major area this month: children. My team has attested, just last night even, to how much I have grown this month. Abby said, "Last month, after we would spend our ministry with children, you would look drained. This month, I can tell you love them and are energized by the time we spend with the kids." This is definitely true!
There is one little girl who has changed my heart towards children. Her name is Asha and she is five years old. She is the cutest, sweetest little girl. I wish you could hear her giggle! It's the sound of complete and utter joy! It makes my heart sing. (We brought a computer yesterday and they watched Wall-e. When Wall-e slammed into the sliding glass doors and the shopping carts crashed into him, she cracked up on my lap. We have the same body humor!) She is always happy and playful.
I have felt the Lord's heart for her heavy on me this month; it's like nothing I've ever felt before. I wish you knew her. I am going to do whatever I can do to stay connected with her. I am so blessed by the heart of the Pastor we worked with! His heart for children is inspiring and he has created a way for us to still be involved in the kids' lives once we leave, which I will explain more in a bit. Asha is an street child, and lives with her grandmother and mother now. (The definition we were given of street child is one who has parents but does not have a good home situation.) She has a home, I have seen her eating, and she has a few different outfits, so that was a comfort!
Leaving Asha was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my ENTIRE life! I know it sounds crazy, but it would make more sense if you were here. I can also only explain the way I feel about her as due to the fact that God has given me a little part of his heart for her. I want to love and provide for her, just as God wants her to be loved and provided for.
I feel like the Lord has put this on my heart and do not say this lightly, but I have looked into adopting her. Unfortunately for me, Tanzania does not have easy adoption laws. One has to be a resident of Tanzania for three years, preferably married, and 21 years older than the child. Three HUGE mountains! I don't know what I would do in Tanzania for three years, I am not married, nor am I 21 years older than her. When I found this out I was devastated and confused. I have never felt the Lord's calling on my life more strongly than towards Asha. Now I've spent time with the Lord trying to figure out where this calling is supposed to go if I can't adopt her. Through our Pastor's organization, Greater Grace, I am going to support Asha so that she can attend English Medium school. This school is entirely taught in English, I will get monthly updates/pictures, and she will eat breakfast and lunch at school. English Medium school is expensive – $650 per year – but when I was considering adoption, I thought it worth it. Now I think she will have many more opportunities than before.
It sounds crazy, which is why I hesitate to tell anyone. I remember my reaction to Abby and Joe adopting a child we met in Kenya (the situation is very different). I wish I could explain it, but I just can't. I feel like I have been given part of the Lord's maternal heart for Asha. I want to love her, provide for her, and take care of her. The other day we were at ministry and we had to leave for a little while. On the way back to where Asha was, I felt like my heart was coming out of my chest leading me back to the other half of my heart. When I'm with Asha I kind of feel like I'm HOME. Every time I see her, she runs to me with her arms outstretched and jumps into my arms.
I know it probably seems like this came out of left-field. I am telling you this now, though, so you can be in prayer with me. I cannot ignore the call God has placed on my heart for this little girl. So, I plan to do my part and get myself ready for her – even if her place isn't with me. Whether or not the Lord chooses for us to be together is not up to me, it's only up to me to make myself ready for what the Lord is doing. I do need your help though! This December is going to be SUPER tight monetarily for me! It is going to be more expensive than usual to get Asha started in school because of the uniform, school books, etc. It will cost $375 on December 15. If YOU can help AT ALL with these fees (let me know by December 10) it would mean the world to me AND Asha!! I love her as a mother and I wish all of you could know her! Please, please consider making a one-time donation to help me pay for Asha's schooling!!
Love,
Hannah and Asha 😀
