I have officially entered into month TEN! What in the world… what the heck… where has the time gone… I don’t get it…
Haiti is home this month. A nation that I’ve been eager to serve in. Why? Because poverty breaks my heart. And though broken hearts hurt… when the Lord breaks them, it’s pieced back together so beautifully.
EAGER has been a word that the Lord has given me in my quiet time (at least it’s what I thought He said). Why? I “thought” because I am EAGER to be home. I’m EAGER to indulge in multiple 8-piece chicken nuggets with Polynesian sauce, crunchy waffle fries, and sweet, iced tea from Chick-fil-a. I’m EAGER to blow-dry my hair and maybe even straighten it. I’m EAGER to embrace my Birmingham crew and stay up way too late laughing way too hard with them. I’m EAGER to hug and love on my family in North Carolina and Northern Virginia. I’m EAGER to cuddle and play with my sweet Koda pup.
The more I thought about the word EAGER, the more I realized that God had not whispered that single word to me, He had whispered a phrase to me – “Don’t be so EAGER.”
Dagger to the heart. I knew I was eager to serve in Haiti and I am also eager for my flight to touchdown on U.S. soil… but what I realized was that I had completely disregarded the first part of God’s words. I was SO EAGER to get back home and start this ‘new life’, that I forgot about Haiti and the Dominican Republic… and this is where the Lord has me for the next two months.
The past couple weeks as I have declined a job offer in a city that holds my heart, my mind has been consumed with dreams and thoughts about home. These are good things, yes. But the way they have consumed my mind, no. I don’t want to board my flight back to the U.S. and think, “I missed it. I was so consumed with my eagerness to enter home that I disregarded the eagerness that the Lord has given me for the final two months.”
The thing about life is that it doesn’t stop for you to get yourself together. Time keeps tickin’, your heart keeps beatin’ and the sand keeps fallin’. Live every moment to the fullest. The past two weeks, I was running this race in need of some motor oil, gasoline, window washing, or something! My car was slowing down and I didn’t know why (nor did I seem to care). After all, I am a month 10 racer who is nearing the finish line… it was okay to begin to slow down, right? Wrong.
I’m not meant to ‘slow down’. Yes, I have a Sabbath and will rest, but with the kingdom, there’s no time for slowing down for long periods of time. It’s like NASCAR. You drive some laps and then have to pull off to your pit crew to get your tires changed, oil changed, gas re-fueled, windows washed (okay maybe not that), but then you get right back on the track for the next few laps.
I found myself spending way more than just a few seconds with the pit crew for the last two weeks. I was cheering others and chillin’ with the pit crew. You can stay as long as you want with the pit crew, but I guarantee you won’t win the race, no matter how good the stuff they pour into you is. If you never leave the pit crew, you’ll never even finish the race.
You see, this race is not something that only lasts 11 months. The World Race, yes. But the race of life, no. The words, ‘slow down’ and ‘finish line’ rarely make sense when used in the same sentence. I want to blow past the waving black and white checkered flag without pumping the brakes. The World Race is just 11 months of my race of life. 11 months that has birthed in me an eagerness to share His love and faithfulness. An excitement to share His word because time is crucial and His word needs to be known. 11 months of pouring God’s momentum into my body and being a witness of the product it is producing in my heart, mind, and soul.
2 Timothy 4:6-8 “For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time for my departure is near. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day – and not only me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.”
Eating some nachos and drinking a Dr. Pepper with the pit crew is not an option right now… not if I want to finish the race that He has marked out for me strong. So, I leave the pit crew that I stayed in for a few seconds too long and plunge forward to what lies ahead. Not listening to the voices of the world, but listening to the voice of my Creator. Not consuming my mind with thoughts of my next step, but attuning my ears more to His voice and guidance in the now. Not looking at my flight to the U.S., but looking at my hands full of Haitian children to be loved. Not tapping the breaks, but putting the petal to the metal – always. And with that, I’m eager to see the Lord show up in these next two laps of the race I’m in.
Are you eager to advance God’s kingdom? Ask the Lord to plant inside of you a drive to share His love and an eagerness to be a part of the expansion of His kingdom.
