“Even if I change the world, that won’t make you love me more, ‘cause you meant it when you said, ‘It is finished.’”
This chapter is over. This season has come to an end. Just like that my 11-month, World Race journey is in the books. 323 days could not have come and gone so fast. It feels like just last week I saw tears stream down moms face as I hugged her goodbye and I heard my choked up dad utter the words ‘see ya later Smiling Flower’.
Boarding the plane back in August, I had the mindset of growing closer to Christ and being as much of a Christ-like servant to others as possible. I wanted God to work through me to touch the lives of others. I quickly learned that in order for the Lord to use me fully, I needed to be fully His. He opened the back closets of my life that had 23 padlocks on them. The pieces of my life that no one knew about. There was pain… confusion… shame… un-forgiveness. But as I gave God my pain, He gave me His comfort. As I gave God my confusion, with gentle whispers He helped me understand. As I gave God my shame, He clothed me with righteousness. As I gave God my un-forgiveness, He wiped my slate white as snow.
Month after month passed and my perspective shifted. God didn’t just call me to ‘feed the hungry, clothe the naked, and heal the sick’… He called me to give every area to Him – even the dark, filthy rags.
I’ve lived in 11 of His countries and loved on hundreds of His people. I have been broken and shattered in more ways than I can count. I have learned about the love that He so freely gives, I have felt it and extended it towards others.
I am not the same ‘HB’ that was ready to tackle the world back in August 2k16. Believe me, God tackled HB. And though at the time it felt like I had broken bones after multiple tackles, God touched and healed bones that had been broken and were trying to grow back together with no cast… ultimately, with no guidance. He placed sturdy casts full of leadership, love and support. When the casts were removed, He showed me dependency on Him… How to trust the bones and muscles that were weak because of inactivity. I have been pressed, molded, carved, and polished into more of the woman God has called me to be. I am not a product of The World Race… nor am I a product of Ken and Joni. I am a product of the Lord Jesus Christ. I walk in freedom and confidence of who God says I am. I’ve never felt more ‘HB’ than I do coming home today.
An HB who knows where her identity lies and isn’t ashamed of it. An HB who has a heart for the nations. An HB who sees the urgency to share the Gospel and acts on it. An HB who continues to love hard through a kingdom lens. An HB who has been healed from past hurt. An HB who can’t wait to fulfill the plans and purpose that He has in store for her. So I’m touching down in the states, a new HB.
How will I respond when my feet touch down on U.S. soil for more than just a layover? Lord knows. For the first little bit, I will more than likely want to go to Chick-fil-A, catch up on Netflix, and drive to Krispy Kreme at 11pm for a dozen, hot, glazed donuts. I may laugh about times where my team and I were completely ridiculous, just laugh with me. I may want to be alone because I haven’t been alone in 11 months, just let me be. I may cry telling stories about days when my heart broke on the race, don’t be concerned though, just let the tears flow.
To those who have supported me financially, prayerfully, or through encouragement… I can’t thank you enough. You have been a part of advancing the kingdom. You helped me not only launch, but also played a part in allowing the Lord to transform my life. That is something that I can never repay you for. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Y’all are the best. Until next time… many blessings.
