I have been trying for 27 years to grow (both vertically and emotionally) into this person I’ve now become. Up until The Race I have been trying to do it on my own; and I was an epic fail. Now, 4 months into The Race I am a completely different person. So what’s the secret?!?!?! What was I missing for all those long and painful years?!?!
What a complete contrast. 27 years on my own and only a few gains to show for it; 4 months of diving head first into Jesus’ arms and my life is completely changed. If that isn’t God trying to help me understand his power and love, than I don’t know what else will do the trick.
I’ve been trying to put my finger on how exactly I have grown. I want to know so I can share with all of you!! Here is an example; an excerpt from a journal entry I wrote yesterday.
“Every moment of these 11 months aren’t going to be life changing for me. I wish they were but they aren’t. I grow every month and learn new things but sometimes I miss it. Days go by so fast on The Race that if I blink, I miss it. I miss the way the clouds sit perfectly on top of the cliffs of Thailand. I miss the reflection of the sun coming off the waves at the beach. I miss the smell of the breeze that blows by me on a deadly hot day. But if I can stay focused and open my eyes I can see God ordained moments everywhere. Moments of clarity in which pieces get put together. God ordained moments that the actual presence of God is so tangible that my beliefs are no longer a debatable theory, but become reality, fact, truth, and life. I pray every morning that the king of heaven brings me those moments so my faith in Him can increase and my trust be renewed daily. I think that’s what The Race is all about. I think the hope for these moments is why I went on The Race.”
The maturity it takes to recognize those moments as a gift from God and not trying to attribute them to earthly things shows my growth. I am exactly the same and all together different. My personality is exactly the same, but my heart and my love are completely different. My reflection in the mirror is exactly the same, but the person looking back at me is completely different.
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Thank you all.
