Tomorrow I turn 25 and I am so excited.
Not to be a year older or to celebrate with a giant slice of over-frosted cake (although, trust me, that’s happening.) I am excited because this birthday is totally, completely, entirely different than how I imagined it would be.
Growing up, 25 was my magic number. Marriage, a home, a high profile job & a cushy savings account… totally reasonable, right? College, dating, hard work and self-controlled spending habits; that’s all it was going to take. Yet, looking back at my teenage life planning now, I notice that I left no room for God; no room for His plans or His purpose for my life.
So on the eve of my 25th birthday, I am excited because the plans I had didn’t beat out the plans God had for my life.
I am so thankful that I didn’t get what I thought I deserved. That I wasn’t handed the reins to life, nose buried in the map only to realize that life was happening all around me, if only I would’ve looked up. I wasn’t so busy trying to line up life events that I left no room for mistakes, fun, lessons and grace. I won’t wake up tomorrow only to realize that “perfect” at 25 came at the cost of the last imperfect, beautiful 24 years.
Has every single day been ideal, without struggle or insecurity? Not a chance. But what I have learned is that God is good, even on the bad days. He is so good, and His goodness isn’t intimidated or threatened by my emotions, by my plans or my circumstances. He isn’t confused when I laugh and then cry and then laugh again all within a few seconds. He is not worried or disappointed by the fact that I don’t know where my life is heading.
Because He does.
I have the freedom to take risks, to try doing life in different ways. I am able to make mistakes and live in the wake of His mercy and grace because while tomorrow is unknown, I know that the One who holds my tomorrow is good.
I am starting to realize that God wants more from me, and I want more of Him.
He has started to grow in me a desire to live intentionally; different from anyone I had ever known, even if that means not having a plan and waiting to see what He will have for me tomorrow.
For now, I know that my next tomorrow means being 25. While I will still be single, a non-homeowner without a corner office or a killer savings account, I know that my next tomorrow will be good. It will be full of love and laughter and I will relish every second that I am in His hands.
So in a way, 25 just might still be my magic number.
No, it won’t be spent the way I once thought it would be, but when I wake up tomorrow I will be proud of the way I have embraced chance and opportunity and insecurity. It will be one more day of serving the Lord and one day closer to becoming the kind of person I have wanted to be all along… a person who lives with faith and trust, who isn’t afraid to take chances that might not turn out, who doesn’t shy away from a little uncertainty, a person who can still dig deep enough to find the good, and a person who will stake everything I have on trying to follow His voice, wherever it may call me.
“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” Proverbs 16:9
>> If you’d like to help send me on the race, consider donating $25 today in honor of my 25th birthday! With what is left of my fundraising, $25 can fund an entire day on my race! Click “support me” to the left if you’d like to contribute. <<
