At Month 8 Debrief, AIM staff supplied us with a tool called a “re-entry packet”. These six pages are designed to walk us social misfit World Racers through the process of unpacking this year and returning to life as we knew it.
We’ve seen and experienced so much in these 11 months. Different foods, toilets (I use that term loosely), sleeping arrangements, modes of transportation, etc. We’ve seen the darkness of poverty and despair met head on by the depths of joy and peace that come from the Spirit of God. I learned silly things like the fact that I enjoy tuna, onions, pickles and other great smelling foods that I once scorned for no reason. I learned hard things like pride, judgment and selfishness lurked deep within my heart. I learned beautiful truths like joy and true happiness are found when we are smack dab in the center of God’s will. To borrow from John Piper, “God is most glorified in me when I am most satisfied in Him.”
As I began the process of sitting down and really thinking through this year and trying to put it into words, I was really overwhelmed. Where do you even begin?
And realizing how much I have been exposed to and how much has changed, it was difficult to imagine how and if I would be able to maintain this once the structure of the World Race is gone. What if no one hands me a note with a word God gave them for me? What if I never again find myself in a bamboo hut in the African bush? What if I no longer have 40 other people around me who understand my experiences?
Will I still be able to hear God’s voice like I did in the wilderness when I am in the promised land?
Now jump ahead two months with me. Team APEX has entered into Month 10 of the Race. Bursts of excitement follow comments that in one month we will be eating our weight in turkey and stuffing while staring at the ones we love face to face. We are still focused on ministry, but we cannot help but get giddy when we imagine reunions with those nearest and dearest to us.
Many people on the squad were still uncertain of what came next for them. But any time someone asked me, I was sure of my answer. At least as a temporary plan. You’re probably thinking, “Noooo, you?”
I know I said I’m a “reformed planner”, but clearly I still have my relapses.
But one day in Ukraine, something changed. IT happened. You know what I mean by “it”?
God gave me one of the moments where I have the chance to put action to all that I’ve seen and heard. Like those times you pray for patience and he gives you a really annoying person in your life so you can learn to be patient.
In passing conversation, I learned that our contacts were looking for a half-day teacher for their daughter as they welcome baby #3 and prepare for their summer outreach to the orphans and village children. On a separate occasion, Jenny mentioned a need for more hands in their ministry to the young girls in the area. They are desperate for someone to pour into them, to tell them what the Father thinks of them, to let them know they have value. They need healthy examples of love and relationships because no one is telling them that it’s possible. Not their parents, not their experience, not their culture.
Ok, I’m a teacher. And my passion just so happens to be ministry with young girls, talking about value and purity. But I never knew how the two would fit together. I tried hard to ignore how perfect this was because I was still smelling the Starbucks and imagining dance parties with Gabe and Eden. But God, kept speaking gently to my heart. Reminding me of all that I have learned this year.
Build HIS kingdom, not mine.
Listen.
Obey.
Trust.
Act.
But God, I’m not even home yet! I’ve been 11 months without family and comforts.
“Is that enough?”
I felt God speak to me in a still, small voice.
Philippians 2:5-8
“You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position as a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross.”
What does God want from me? Not just sacrifice. Not only giving him 11 months of “my plans”.
He wants obedience.
What if Jesus said, “Dad, I already gave up my crown and my palace. I’m doing ministry every day with these people who forget my power as soon as they see it. I’m not giving up anymore. I’ve sacrificed enough.” If this had been his attitude, eternal life would have eluded us all. It wasn’t only about his initial sacrifice. The miracle of Jesus’ time on earth was his continual listening to the voice of God, his in the moment obedience.
And that’s what God wants from each of us. What is he calling you to? Another job? A conversation with the girl at work? Switching churches? More time with Him?
For me, it’s five more months in Ukraine. So in March, I will return to the small village of Kolentsi with all its 486 inhabitants. To teach and hang out with teenagers and to minister in whatever other way God opens the doors.
But I challenge you to remember, it’s not always the hardest choice or what seems like the biggest sacrifice. When Elijah met God on the mountain, his voice wasn’t in the mighty storm. It wasn’t in the earthquake. It wasn’t in the fire. It was the sound of a gentle whisper (1 Kings 19:11-13).
It’s these easily dismissed, gentle stirrings that God often uses to speak to us. So listen. And then your only response as one who has been ransomed and is madly in love with their Rescuer, is this:
Obey.
Trust.
Act.
Thank you for all of your love and support this year! I would so appreciate your continued prayers as I go into this next season of my life. It will be very different without the community of my team, but I trust that God will still supply. He always does.
1 Samuel 15:22 “Does the Lord take pleasure in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as he does in obedience? Certainly, obedience is better than sacrifice; paying attention is better than the fat of rams.”
