When I left for the race I had huge expectations of growth and seeing God in some seriously crazy ways. Everyone would tell me that I was going to see and learn so much this year, that I was going to be stretched.
And yes that is so true, but it hasn’t happened at all in the way that I had imagined or what all the blogs said. (Typical right?)
I had expectations of healing and watching my life radically change going into month one, and while I did see change it wasn’t the way I wanted or expected it to happen. I watched it happen in the people around me. I watched my squad mates break chains off and tear walls down. I watched Him give them words and dreams and a new fire for Him. God was doing all of these amazing things in everyone around me…but where was mine? Where was my revelation from God?
What was wrong with me that I wasnt getting anything from God?
I was so anxious to hear God speak to me.
Was I not listening?
Did he not hear me?
God are you even there?
I am there through it all child.
The wonderful thing about God is that He doesn’t work in our timing, and he works in ways that we could never imagine.
He shows up in the small things.
As I look back over my testimony and the last few months I can see where He was and where He still is. Even in the moments where I wasn’t following Him, He was there nudging me back to Him. I can see the people that He placed in my life in times where I was wandering farther away from Him.
My second semester of college He gave me a roommate whose heart was on fire for Christ. Through her He gave me the opportunity to hear His word again through a college service.
He gave me a good friend who got me involved in the church.
He gave me a friend at work who was living for Him and challenged me to live for Him as well. This guy chose to seek Christ daily even when the surroundings where shouting at him to follow the world.
He gave me a group of middle school girls who have played a huge part in my life. They showed me life from a different perspective and they showed me joy.
He gave me grace every time I screwed up.
He shows up, and He does speak. I just have to be still and listen.
Trusting in him and listening to His voice is a choice I have to make daily.
At our ministry this month we are staying in a room above the church we are connected with. We were given the option the other day to stay or move to a house that is a little further away.
This house was perfect.
It had a kitchen.
It had a living room.
It had a shower AND a sink… separate from the toilet.
It had everything that would make us comfortable.
Even though it seemed perfect I got this uneasy feeling about it.
This feeling wouldn’t leave me throughout the day.
So I voiced it to the team.
When my teammate Ari voiced the same feeling we decided to pray about the decision.
That small uneasy feeling had been God speaking to me.
As we prayed no one got anything good about moving over to the house.
We texted our contact to tell him out decision and that we had prayed about it and we felt it was better for us to stay. He told us “Praise God.”
We then found out that He hadn’t had a good feeling about it, but he wanted us to make a decision based on what would be better for us.
I was blown away.
He shows up, and He does speak. I just have to be still and listen.
How is God speaking to you in your life? Have you sat in His presence and just listened for what He has for you?
Love,
Hanna
