“In their hearts humans plan their course,
but the Lord establishes their steps.”
Proverbs 16: 9
I wish I could sit here and write to you that I have it all figured out. That I know what comes next. That I have a plan. But I can’t. Because I don’t.
I could write all day long about what I think I want and what the desires of my heart are. I could write about how I want to go back to school or how I can’t wait to have a family or start a ministry. But in all honesty that wouldn’t be the truth either. Yes do I long to have those dreams fulfilled, of course, but I’m not willing to forfeit His plan for my own.
Yesterday as I sat in the presence of my dad I couldn’t help but ask Him what He had next for me. Without hesitating He responded with “Are you willing to give up your desires and your timeline to give me more?” *Insert gut punch here* In other words are you willing to lay aside yourself and devote more of your time fully to me. Isn’t that what I’m doing? You’re already asking me for more? What about my plans? What about what I want?
The real question that I should have been asking myself is, why am I questioning giving God more of myself and more of my time if I have truly given Him my whole life for Him to do His perfect will. Why am hesitant to continue to die to self and lay myself aside for the building of the Kingdom.
I know that what God has for me surpasses any plans that I could ever dream or make for myself. I know that I serve a God who knows the desires of my heart and will give me everything that fits into His will. I know that He is my provider and wants whats best for me. He will not keep me from what is good or brings joy to my soul. I know that giving Him the control of whats next will not keep me from living a full and abundant life.
I may not know whats next. I may not have a plan. What I do know is that I am living a life that is interruptible. He interrupts every part of every day that I live. As long as I am allowing Him to interrupt me and to establish the steps before me I will never need a plan. The only plan I need is one of pure faith, trust and obedience.
His desires are my desires.
