Evangelism. I stared at the word for what seemed like an eternity. Its amazing how intimidating one word can be. Four weeks of non stop evangelism. The fear, dread and comparison began to flood in. How can we do this all day everyday I am not any good at what they are asking of me. There are so many other gifted people who should be placed here. What will I say What if I say the wrong thing? What if I waste an entire month just walking around aimlessly? God you’ve got the wrong person for the job.
Lies. The enemy snuck in like a snake. Overtook my every thought. Warped every truth I had on the word. Degraded me. Made me feel less than. Stripped me of my confidence. Clouded my judgement. Placed negativity on all angles of the month ahead. snuck into vulnerable doors. Beat me down to what seemed a point of no return.
Perseverance. I fought. I fought hard. Day by day I sought after the truth. An ounce of clarity. I began to feel the breeze of my head above water. I was reminded of how far I had come. My flesh may fail but my God never will. He restored truths that were broken. He set me free from the prison of lies I was entangled in. He told me that I am all things because Christ is in me. He made me trust His decision. He gave me faith to walk out into the streets. His voice is my guide. I walk in His boldness and courage.
Obedience. You want me to do what? I’ll look like a fool. They’ll laugh at me. Why? How? No way. LIES…I stepped out. Out into obedience to my Father. He spoke, I did. The more I listened and followed the more He spoke. The more He spoke the more confident I became. The confidence began to silence the lies. Lies were overruled with truth. I was walking in the light. I was being His light.
Thriving. A month I feared. A month I had dreaded. A month I felt unworthy of being called to. REDEEMED! God has called me to evangelize. He has equipped me in every step of the way. He has given me the confidence to walk the streets head held high. He made me bold. I know no stranger. I see His children lost and waiting to receive his love. I am so attune to His Spirit. He guides my every footstep, thought and word. Instead of fearing the unknown I am thriving on Gods calling.
Real Love. I have learned to love in a whole new way. I have learned how I am told to love. I have learned to apply 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 in a new light. Holy Spirit in me is patient, Holy Spirit in me is kind. Holy Spirit in me does not envy. Holy Spirit in me does not boast. Holy Spirit in me is not proud. Holy Spirit in me does not dishonor others, Holy Spirit in me is not self seeking, Holy Spirit in me is not easily angered, Holy Spirit in me keeps no record of wrong. Holy Spirit in me does not delight in evil but rejoices with truth. Holy spirit in me always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres. Holy Spirit in me never fails. Real love looks like not turning the other cheek. It looks like befriending the person everyone else ignores and walks past. It looks like being patient with yet another man cat calling you and making vulgar gestures at you. It is being kind to the people mocking you and the name of Jesus. Real love is not being envious of your teammate having a bed to sleep on and being thankful you packed a sleeping pad. it is walking in humility and knowing the truth of why we are here. It is choosing to stand above the temptation to gossip and respecting the people we love. It is taking the last shower at night or waiting for all 10 people to cook lunch first. It is watching a man flick his ashes from his joint all down the front of you but ignoring it and keep sharing the gospel. It is seeing faults in others and having grace. Love is seeing the tear fall as God has spoken truth into a mans life and seeing a chain broken. It is praying against the attack of the enemy and fear at night. it is knowing His plan is the only way. It is asking for bigger. It is pushing through. Love is knowing that no matter what may come it will never fade away. His love is nothing less than extravagant.
