I find myself sitting here in the most beautiful part of South Africa, Jeffrey’s Bay. Known for their emerald waters and great surfing. Our house sits atop the hill overlooking the beautiful coast. The sound of waves crashing, the smell of the sweet salt water, and white soft sand waiting for my toes to be placed in. We are beyond blessed to be placed here in this moment with these wonderful hosts. Our accommodations are more than enough. We have hot showers, a flushing toilet, beds to lay our heads down, a full kitchen, and even a table to all gather around eat together and fellowship with one another. Ministry here is a variety of schools we interact with, a horse farm we give our time to, and after school children programs. Every Sunday we attend Victory Church which is founded and ran through Hillsong. I find myself so at home here. Worship is full of the Holy Spirit. The Word is drenched in truth. I’m hungry and I want more.
So, with all of these things you’d have to assume that life is pretty great and I am loving it here right? WRONG! I find myself completely miserable. I feel as though I am drowning and screaming for help and no one is answering, but time is running out. How can I be here in this beautiful place with all of these comforts and be so unhappy? How can I be so unhappy when the Kingdom is advancing? How can I be sitting here questioning my purpose and questioning Gods plan for me here on the world race? How at this point in time when things are so great do I find myself craving to go home, home where there is comfort and kingdom to be advanced?
With all of these questions being asked, God gave me one answer. PATIENCE. God revealed to me that in learning patience I must first learn patience with Him. Just because I ask for something does not mean that He will give immediately. He wants to be pursued and He wants me to learn patience with Him first and foremost. Easier said than done as I sit here with question after question of my purpose and His plan for me here on the race. I felt myself struggling more and even becoming very frustrated and taking it out on those around me who didn’t deserve it. Pleading with God to reveal Himself in some way to me here in JBay. I needed something. I needed an answer and I needed it fast.
As I sit in the second row in the Patensie Church last night with two smiling faces looking up at me God answered what I had been craving for weeks. In His still small voice He said to me “Get Uncomfortable”. He revealed to me as I sat there while I am “living the dream” mission-ally and getting poured into with spiritual truth there are people/ children craving to be loved and given the same opportunity of truth about Jesus. The more I listened I realized these people are receiving unsound doctrine. They are so hungry they are willing to follow what is given them. They do not have the knowledge to know the truth and lead. Instead they follow by the example that is given them. As I sat there all I could do was ask the Lord to give discernment to these people. To reveal His truth to them. I hugged the little bodies in my lap tighter and tighter as tears streamed down my face. Why are we so comfortable week after week walking into the building of four walls, going to the same spot in the second row ready to receive the truth there for us? Why are we not out in the community and out in the streets being the walking body of Christ and the walking church that He has intended us to be? Why are we not stepping out into the uncomfortable situations that He craves for us to step out into boldness? People are hungry. People are in need of more. People are in need of what we have. Are we willing to get uncomfortable for God, for our faith, for those around us?
As I found myself walking into the four walls of the prison I realized just how uncomfortable I was. All I could do was pray for the Holy Spirit to intercede. As orange jump suits surrounded me I could have coward down in fear and left unnoticed, but God had a greater plan. God gave me a voice. God gave me the words to share. God softened hearts and opened the ears of these men. Not only did I find God using me to share the prayer of salvation to one man, but to around 30 men!!! Thank you God for using me in mightier ways than I could ever imagine possible. Thank you God for putting me in uncomfortable situations. Thank you God for showing up in a big way.
Now the real answer to my struggle. Why couldn’t I be uncomfortable here in JBay? Why had I questioned my being and my purpose? God has placed me here. He has given me everything that I have this month. I did not ask to be placed here. I did not ever dream I would be treated so well, but I have learned that we have to enjoy every place that He has given us whether it is feast or famine. I want to be content in every situation that God has placed me in.
I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry whether living in plenty or in want.” Philippians 4:11-12
