I’d never been to the desert before. As most of the race I was walking into the unknown. I was met with what I had literally imagined a desert to be. It was dry, hot, dusty, full of thorns and miles upon miles away from ‘civilization’. No one could have navigated to find us even if they had wanted to. We camped out at what looked like an oasis in the middle of this desert. A beautiful home built in the middle of nowhere. Hosted by a family met by Jesus right where they are. Content with the life placed before them. A life full of hard work on the farm, filled with struggles and terminal illnesses, but met with divine encounters from the Lord and testimony of miraculous healing and provision. Food placed on the table provided from months and months of labor to make ends meet. Service for a team that was so underserving of all that was being sacrificed. True example of living out how Jesus did.
I thank God for the beauty he has created in the middle of the desert. Beauty in the view from the top of the sand covered hill as the sun set behind the mountains and we worshipped the creator responsible for it all. Beauty in the eyes of Teresa as she tirelessly and selflessly worked to serve our team the best that she could. Beauty in the laughs and memories created and shared as we bounced around the back of the truck flying over sand dunes. Beauty in realizing that I am the rare wildflower my Dad has created me to be standing in the middle of the desert radiating his light and love to the unreached. Thank you Pappa!
Now I’d like to introduce you to my acquaintance ‘pan’, aka bread. South America is known for their delicious, warm, smothered in jam, carb packed delicacy. You can enjoy pan at breakfast, lunch, snack and dinner and man oh man have I been enjoying my share (plus more)! In this I have hit what many would call back in their college days their freshman 15. I have enjoyed and fully divulged into the cultural norm of my daily intake of pan. In that I have found myself feeling ‘not so myself’, oddly bloated and disappointed in myself. I have allowed myself to become consumed with the way I was feeling and terrified of the weight I was beginning to put on. As in everything in life we must learn this thing called self control (and I am learning it in more than just my eating habits). Within self control we must set healthy boundaries for ourself. I began to realize that I am the only one who control how I am feeling and what I am allowing myself to do/eat. For me to be the most spiritually, emotionally and physically healthy, I have to take control of all areas of my life. I have to set limitations and boundaries. I am not worried about my weight or what my physical appearance is, but I am worried about my health in all of those areas and if I am doing everything that I can to create that in my life. If one area of my life is off then all areas become messy and not on track. So cheers (not with a baguette, maybe a carrot and Bible in hand) to learning to be the healthiest version of myself!
Our entire squad (48 people) has come together in Mendoza, Argentine to partner with YWAM for ministry this month. What a blessing it is to have this community all in one place serving Jesus together. It comes with its ups and downs as well. As a squad leader in all squad month there is a lot of behind the scenes that falls into our hands as a leadership team. Tasks ranging from logistical things, schedules for everyone, and answering 48 questions from 48 different people. In the midst of it all I lost the vision. I became so consumed with the hustle of the everyday and the overwhelming amount of questions that I lost sight of why I was here. I began to question the purpose. I wasn’t doing anything, anyone could do what I was here doing. I was just here to tell people not to flush the toilet paper again and again. I realized I had failed. I had failed our squad. I had failed our team leaders. I don’t want to be remembered as unapproachable. I don’t want to be remembered as the person who just handed out tasks and guidelines. I don’t want to be remembered as stressed out and overwhelmed by the mundane tasks of the daily life. That is not why I was called back out on the field to lead this squad. I had to regain vision. I had to press into the Father to remind me of my purpose for being here. Thankfully there is so much grace to be given. There is so much to learn and grow from. How often in daily life are we so lost and consumed with the craziness of the world around us that we lose sight of what our purpose really is. A purpose to live out the calling we have received. A life lived in obedience to what the Father has asked of us.
Thank you for your continual prayers as I press into this journey and this season that the Lord has placed me in. I am so thankful for each and every one of you!
