There I sat again. Gazing out the window, watching as we pulled away. I felt the sting of the tears as they ran down my cheek. Another goodbye. Another month full of love. Another month of so much laughter and memories. Another Home I had found. Another family I had to leave behind.
I found myself the victim. It hurts. I can’t love anymore. I can’t keep saying goodbye. I can’t keep leaving behind the family I now have. I can’t leave and just not help anymore. I can’t do this. I have nothing more to give.
“Will you burn for Me?” These were the words I heard whispered from that still small voice. “Will you let me be your strength, will you be my light in the dark, will you love others the way I love them, will you give me all of you?”
Just when I thought Id given all my Yeses. Just when I thought what more can I give. There it is. More to hand over. More to pour out. More to put my faith in. Another beautiful Yes. This yes somehow more powerful than ever before. Yes, Ive given a year of my life fully devoted. Yes, Ive surrendered so many things I’d held on to. Yes, Ive given my yes for His plans for the rest of my life. Yes to Him having all of me. Somehow this yes to keep loving is harder.
Why is it so hard for me to keep loving and giving all that I can. I have a Father that came to this earth to walk as a human and to be tempted with everything ever imaginable. He came to love. He never said He’d had enough. He never said He was tired. He never gave up. In fact when it became harder thats when He loved us even more even to the point He gave His life He loved us so much. He wanted to save us. He wanted us to know a love so unconditional. A love that we could never fathom.
Thats why I have given Him my Yes. I will press in. I will go on. I will share this love that is worth risking it all. Why would I want to live a life holding onto a love like that all for myself. I want to share the love that is my joy. I want to see the joy the love of my Father brings to others. I want to see the love I have bring me many more families that I can love on for the rest of my life. I want that love to make the memories I can cherish forever. That love brings laughter, it brings tears, its brings struggle, it brings growth, but most of all it brings us closer to the one who made that love possible.
So for now. I say Yes. I choose this love. Its never goodbye when we are bonded in the love and eternal life with God!
