howzit!!
days on the race are a variety. some days are really good days. days when you get to witness an 18 year old girl give her life to jesus. days when you get to snuggle a baby all day and get to know that mama. days when you tangibly feel jesus touching your heart. but some days are really hard days. days when all you want is to take a shower but the water gets shut off. when you need to be alone but you live in community and there’s no such thing as being “alone”. when jesus is painfully silent.
i’ve seen a lot of good days and a lot of bad days. i’ve had to miss ministry days because i was sick. i’ve woken up (on the wrong side of the sleeping pad) and wanted to skip school because i can’t handle kids yelling all day— again. i’ve gotten in arguments with my teammates. i’ve woken up an hour before everyone else and felt so energized & ready for the day. i’ve started my mornings with hot showers and coffee. i’ve started my mornings sticky with sweat. i’ve started my mornings with goosebumps because of our cool fan. //// the coolest realization i literally just had as i was typing this is that every morning, whether it’s one of those good or bad mornings, i wake up with jesus in my heart and soul. regardless if i feel it or not. on those bad mornings he’s dwelling. & on those good mornings he’s dwelling.
dwell. it’s become one of my favorite words these past couple months. when i think about the word it brings a picture to my mind of jesus in a home. it’s small, but it fits him perfectly. it’s homey. it has sweet smells and a good vibe. and it’s in my soul. the door is always open. and jesus promises me everyday that he’s never leaving the dwelling place in my soul.
disclaimer. i realized that when i write blogs i’m all over the place. there’s no beginning, middle, end. there’s random detail, story, truth, random ‘pointless’ details i’m gonna add anyways, story, etc. but i think it’s okay hey? i’m a missionary in africa, my mind is sometimes all over the place. but jesus makes sense of the mess in my mind. hopefully he can do the same for you.
i find myself wanting to share only the good stuff. sometimes it’s easier to share all the picture perfect moments. because not everyone is made to hear about the sucky days you had. but we have stories for it all. we create stories for the people who want the rough, dirty, sucky days. and we create stories for the people who want the beautiful, winning, instagram worthy pictures. as missionaries, we’ve got it all. even i do it sometimes. when i have friends who go out on missions i only ask to see the good pictures and i only ask about the cool stories they have. but have you ever thought about the so called “sucky” stories they have? jesus enjoys using the broken moments and broken people the most, why not ask to hear about those stories? every single person is a story teller. whether you live in africa or live in a suburb. don’t forget your stories. the ones that were good are cool, but the ones that were hard are probably the most important ones you have.
despite all the good or bad days, it’s all worth it. everyday it’s worth it. every. single. day. i love my life and i wouldn’t change it for a day of luxury. no doubt.
p.s. drew stepped on a snake earlier this week. he stepped on the head so he didn’t end up getting hurt. praise jesus. turns out the snake was extremely poisonous. he then got an ax and chopped the head off. no big deal. **that was one of the good days ;)**
love,
hallie
