Hey friends,
So I have a bit of news for y’all – I’m switching routes! I will still be leaving in September 2015 but the countries I will be going to are different. Instead of going to Africa, Asia, and Central America, I will be spending all 11 months of the Race in ASIA. I now will be going to China, Mongolia, Japan, Nepal, India, Malaysia, Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia, the Philippines, and Indonesia. I am thrilled about this change and am very excited to see what all the LORD has in store in these countries.
As I sit here and try to share my reasons for wanting to switch, my mind is blown and my heart is overwhelmed at how good our Father is. I am realizing how intentional He has been in orchestrating things in my life to lead me to make this decision. He has called me to take big leaps of faith and as I have stepped into a place of utter dependence on Him, he has gently been reminding me that He is trustworthy, He is good, and his plans for me are far better than I could ever think or imagine. Praise be to the living God who loves me and knows me better than I know myself.
The biggest decision that all World Racers have to make after deciding to pursue the race is what route they wish to take. When faced with this decision, I was initially torn between route 5 and the all Asia route. My heart skipped a beat in excitement thinking about them and I knew that the LORD was calling me to one of these routes. I ended up choosing route 5 for 2 reasons: the first was that I have always wanted to go to Africa and this route would take me there and the second was spending an entire year in Asia completely terrified me. I remember thinking to myself, “What if I hate Asia month 1? Then what do I do? I’m stuck for the rest of the year. I’ll pick route 5 and spend some time in Asia but also be able to go other places.” So essentially, I, without really realizing it, chose my own comfort and selfish desires over anything else and picked route 5. (This is where I now imagine God chuckling at me, shaking his head, and saying “Oh Hallie. Lol”)
In January, I started taking this class called “Perspective on Christian World Movement” or Perspectives for short. This class isn’t offered through UGA and I am not getting any real credit for it but it’s a class where we get to study missions. YALL, this class has been absolutely mind blowing and I have learned SO much about God and his heart for missions. All that I have learned in this class has shifted my perspective on missions in the best ways and made me reevaluate my reasons for wanting to do the World Race. The LORD began to show me my selfishness in choosing the route 5 and I began to realize that’s not where He wanted me (please don’t get me wrong, it’s a great route and the LORD is going to do incredible things through that team, it just wasn’t where He was calling me).
One of the things that we get to spend a lot of time learning about in Perspectives is the 1040 window. We get hear stories from missionaries about all that is going on in that part of the world as well as what all is left to do there. While we were learning about this, I felt this overwhelming sense that this is where I was suppose to go. I remember thinking, “the 1040 window is what got me passionate about missions in the first place, maybe God is calling me there.” It was this moment where I feel my spiritual blinders were taken off and so many pieces fell into place. The 1040 window is where He was calling me to go. Boom. Done. Got it God. Send me there. I soon found that this was easier said than done. The only route that is advertised as a 1040 window route with the WR Race is the Expedition Route that leaves in January 2016. I looked at it but I felt like God was saying no to that Route. I hope you are starting to see my dilemma and frustration at this point. I started to think that maybe I had heard God wrong. Maybe I am supposed to stay on Route 5 and spend 5 months in the 1040 window instead of 10. The biggest problem that this point was I no longer felt at peace about being on Route 5 after all of these realizations. God was calling me to the 1040 window, no doubt about that. How to get there though with the WR and not to the Expedition Route though was the biggest issue. And then it clicked. The ALL ASIA route spends 11 months in Asia, which is where a ton of countries in the 1040 are. All the pieces had fallen into place. God was calling me to Asia.
I wish I could tell you that I was jumping for joy after this “ah-ha” moment but to be completely honest, I wasn’t. All Asia, really God? Even after this whole process of God redirecting me, a year spent solely in Asia still terrified me and I was very opposed to it. Believe me, I know it doesn’t make any sense that I wanted to go to the 1040 Window and yet resented the notion of spending an entire year in Asia. I really think what was going on in my life at this point was a struggle between my spirit and my flesh. My spirit longed to go to the 1040 window and honor what God had told me but my flesh, being completely sinful, wanted to be in control and had other things in mind. I, in complete defiance, told God that if he wanted me to do the all Asia route, he would really have to change my heart towards it because I really just couldn’t see myself spending an entire year in Asia. To that, I feel like he replied, “challenged accepted” haha.
In the weeks that followed, God answered my prayer and has completely changed my heart about spending an entire year in Asia. Where there once was dread and fear, there is now excitement and joy. He has made me so open to this and now my heart doesn’t desire to go anywhere else. The LORD has shifted my perspective and taught me that I shouldn’t be so wrapped up in where He sends me but rather to just focus on that task at hand once I get there. I told him I was willing to go and he has reminded me that being willing to go means being willing to go anywhere, especially to places where the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. In my mind, the life of a missionary is one of complete surrender. It’s about living with hands wide open and a heart that is willing to do whatever it takes to advance the kingdom everywhere. He has reminded me that it’s about dying to yourself and want you want and stepping into the desires of the LORD and embracing what he wants.
God is good y’all. He is so good and I am thankful for all he has done in my life this semester. He is patient, passionate, and persistent and I cannot wait to spend a year in Asia loving on the people there and proclaiming His great name. 🙂
