“Don’t ask God to guide your footsteps if you aren’t willing to move your feet.”
I have a tendency to drag my feet. Okay, the more accurate description would be digging my heals into the ground. One would think the World Race would make you invincible to the difficulty of big changes. The adventurous aspect would spill over any doubts or uncertainties. I wish that were the case. I still have a hard time with change. I would usually rather dig my heals in and honker down in order to stay where I’m comfortable and safe. However, comfortable and safe don’t always (if ever) equate to fulfillment and happiness.
Tomorrow will be my last day working at Camp Sumatanga. I resigned two weeks ago, and it was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make in my life. Camp has always held a special place in my heart. It’s one of my favorite places on earth. However, I need something more. The Race taught me about how I’m built. I’m a do-er rather than a planner. I thrive more when focused on the here and now than the future. I’ve been starving for community. Living a peaceful, quiet life at Sumatanga is most definitely a blessing, but perhaps that blessing is better suited for families than single young adults. I’ll continue to love camp. I’ll continue to be here every chance I get. But as difficult as it’s been, it’s time to say goodbye.
So, what’s next?
I’ll be moving to Birmingham on Wednesday. I have a small studio apartment in Homewood. It’s tiny, but it’s still bigger than the apartment the six of us shared in Turkey for a month. That gives me hope. I’ll begin a new job at Covenant Classical School and Daycare in Hoover. Very few things make me happier than babies and toddlers, so I’m excited. This will most likely be a short-term venture because of a decrease in finances, but I’m taking it one day at a time. It’s been a while since I had to trust God to provide.
I’m continuing to look toward the future. I’m considering going back to school to get my Master’s, perhaps in Early Childhood Special Ed. The thought of having summers off is a huge motivator. After all, I still want to be heavily involved in missions. That would be a beautiful blend.
Part of me feels like my life is wasting away. I see all the amazing things my fellow-Racers are doing. I see the impact they’re making. I can’t help but feel like I blew it. But part of me (even though that part is extremely small at the moment) knows that this is simply the beginning of a new chapter in my life. Maybe God’s not through with me yet.
For all that has been,
Thanks.
For all that shall be,
Yes.
