Have you ever had nights that your mind just circled around thought after thought, preventing any form of sleep? Last night was one of those nights for me. I was especially tired yesterday afternoon. We ate dinner, had feedback, went to build a road (discussed in another blog) and came home. I crawled onto my bed, blissfully soaking up the breeze from the fan. But sleep wasn’t on the immediate agenda.
I mostly thought about home. What will life look like? I pictured people’s reactions to seeing me again. Vain, I know.
Chick-fil-a : #1 combo (Chicken sandwich, waffle fries, and coke)
Momma Goldberg’s: Momma’s Love with cheddar and sour cream chips
Findley’s: Chicken Italian with fries and green olives
Hibachi Express: #10 (Steak, chicken, and fried rice) with 2 extra sauces, hold the veggies
Moe’s: John Coctostan with only steak and cheese
Mikata: #6 (Steak and chicken)
Panera: Cinnamon crunch bagel, toasted with raspberry cream cheese spread
Jim Bob’s: Little Lamb’s plate
El Rio Grande: Una quesadilla de pollo y queso
Jimmy John’s: Slim 1 (Ham and cheese)
I thought about how hungry I was thanks to my food fantasy.
I thought about how much money I owe from student loans and the fact that I’ll be in debt until I’m 80. How will I ever get ahead? Where’s the balance in being financially responsible and doing what God calls me to do?

I thought about jobs and the fact that I’m pretty much as clueless as ever. Maybe I could open a magic shop. Or become a professional Texas Hold ‘Em player.
I played Diner Dash on my iPod to try to pass the time and calm my mind.
I thought about how much I want to take my mom kayaking. And the things we could talk about.
I thought about how much I would love to be a photographer. I see the world in pictures. Maybe that could help me make a little money.
That led me to scroll through pictures, producing more random thoughts.
I thought about what song I wanted to dance to at my wedding reception. Unchained Melody, in case you were wondering.
I thought about how much healing I still need from events from my senior year of high school. Will I ever be able to completely move past it? What does that look like?
I thought about visiting people from the Race. I’ve been with the same five people every hour of every day for last year. How often will I see them when this is over? Maybe I could sell calendars to raise money for gas or plane tickets.
I thought about what it would be like to have a boyfriend. It’s been almost six years…I’m not sure if I remember.
I thought about driving, and the fact that I haven’t driven a car in almost a year. What if I accidentally drive on the left side of the road because that’s what we’ve been used to in other countries?
I then thought about the fact that I don’t even have a car to worry about driving. One that works, anyway. Current goal: buy a scooter. 150cc automatic. Then hit the open road.

I thought about prayer. How powerful it is. Prayers that had been answered. And the ones that still hadn’t. In the way I wanted, anyway.
I thought about this crazy rollercoaster that we call life, and the fact that I can’t believe I’m living this one. Every event over the past twenty-three years has led me to this place. Sitting in a remote village in the countryside of Cambodia. I never would have known.
Finally, I thought about blogging. I thought about what a privilage it is to be able to share these experiences with you. I hope that in some way I’ve been able to offer you something through this ministry. An encouragement, a hope for the future, evidence that God is moving all over the world. Stories that not only touch your heart, but compel you to move.







