You might be in Uganda if…
1. showing your knees is considered cleavage.
2. you have to drive 40 minutes into town to get wifi.
3. your thighs start muscling up from using squatty potties.
4. your showers happen once weekly and they consist of a bucket and splashing.
5. you feel like you can cook an egg on your skin while the sun is out.
6. your hut floods after a rainstorm.
7. you’re living in a hut.
8. you haven’t seen yourself in a mirror in a month.
9. you converse with spiders while peeing.
10. you have to kill spiders for teammates before they will relieve themselves. (cough cough Taylor Baker).
11. if you eat cassava (a root vegetable) EVERY morning for breakfast.
12. you see a chicken running around early in the day, and you see it on your plate at dinner.
13. you wake your parents and friends up at 4:00 am to have a chat.
14. yarn is considered hair ties, weave, or a leash.
15. pets consist of a bird tied to yarn being pulled around.
16. a constant fear of yours is taking a wrong step in the bathroom that would lead to a leg covered in poop.
17. you choose squatties over an American toilet.
18. a woman gives pregnant, and the same day she is carrying water and doing laundry.
19. you start calling cookies biscuits.
20. every time you pick a kid up there is a 50/50 chance you will soon have pee or poop on you.
21. people tell you that you are looking smart, when you are looking good.
22. you can’t tell a baby girl from a baby boy due to clothing until there is no longer clothing.
23. your total worth is calculated by how many cows and chickens you are worth (I was told I’m worth one chicken).
24. no one believes you are in your early 20s because you don’t have children.
25. you use a wheelbarrow and friends to get water.
26. you have to walk a half mile to get water to bathe in, do laundry, clean, etc.
27. there is boda gang violence happening in the middle of the street.
28. your name is changed unofficially to muzungu (white person).
29. seeing a 2 year old with a knife is not completely bizarre.
30. you think you see tumbleweed rolling around, but really it’s just weave.
31. you get your weave stuck in your tent.
32. you ride boda bodas around for a few hours looking for this one place that seems to not exist, but actually does.
33. you get marriage proposals on the reg.
There are so many funny, awesome, Ugandan things, and as I remember them I will try to add to my list, but here is just a glimpse of life for now.
