You Might Be in India if…
1. Ankles and armpits are considered “sexy,” so they must be covered at all times.
2. Double coverage of your chest and bum must happen as well. #itgetshot
3. You sleep in your cultural clothes as well because you sleep one room over from the others, and they can’t see you inappropriate.
4. If a female is preaching or praying, her head must be covered.
5. The bathroom is a spicket for bucket showers and a lovely squatty potty.
6. You share this one bathroom and two very small bedrooms between 12 people.
7. You ride a safari looking vehicle to and from ministry everyday, over an hour one way.
8. The food is PHENOMENAL, but does cause some issues…see #9.
9. Motions and laziness are common issues…that means diarrhea and constipation.
10. You tent on a rooftop for a few nights to try and give yourself some room.
11. You are on house arrest by your hosts because of “Indian police.”
12. You are served Badam milk and it tastes like liquefied chunky sour cream.
13. It’s against the law to play cards.
14. You almost run over a pig driving to and from ministry.
15. You go to the bathroom to find a dog laying down.
16. You get your nose pierced on a home visit.
17. You eat dinner anywhere from 7:30-11:30 PM.
18. You dress up like Santa Claus on Christmas Eve and go to people’s houses to pray.
19. The food is probably still good, but Indian food 3 times a day is an awful lot.
20. Anytime you go somewhere, you gather quite the crowd of adorable children and interested men.
21. People constantly ask to take a picture of you or with you.
22. You don’t know what the plan for the day is until it is actually happening…30 minutes heads up is a huge accomplishment.
23. An auto that should probably hold 3 people can easily fit up to 10.
24. All you do is eat, eat, eat no matter what…
25. Coffee offered late at night isn’t abnormal.
26. It turns into a game of who can get rid of their coffee/tea/snacks in the most creative way (“accidental” spills, bed breaking, and pawning off to teammates are some favorites)
27. A cutting board is actually a clip board.
28. When your Christmas tree is a 5 gallon water container.
29. When you witness a motorcycle/pig collision right outside your house.
30. You go to the bathroom only to find a drain, and you use it anyways.
31. In the village, you ask to go to the bathroom, and they take you behind a house to a dark alley.
32. You make it possible to go to the Taj Mahal for a quick stop on the way to Nepal.
