My time at home has been full of people I love, places close to my heart, and way too much good food. I have not sat still for very long between training camp and visiting people, but if I sat still, it would not be me. I get bored and restless very easy.
I have never been good at the whole resting thing. I live my life on the go, and I absolutely love that. The first two weeks home were spent in Florida, with college friends, in Charleston, and at home for a few days in between. The two weeks after that were spent at training camp followed by a week of reuniting with my squad and then off to my best friend’s bachelorette party. Coming to Colorado, the Lord told me my time here was going to be a time of rest. I knew it was something I desperately needed, so originally I was super excited.
Here I am a couple weeks later sitting in Colorado watching each one of my former roommates go off to work or class or whatever else they have planned for the day. If I’m being honest, I am experiencing jealousy. I want somewhere to be, something to do, productivity to be had. As soon as these thoughts hit me, the Lord very quickly reminds me of His promises.
He promises me He always has the very best for me.
He promises me if I was supposed to be somewhere else, I would be there.
He promises me He has a plan for me, and I can’t mess it up.
He promises me He loves me unconditionally, even when I become restless.
He promises me He knows my heart and it’s desires because He put them there.
Looking back on my time here in Colorado and my time at home, the Lord has come through on those promises every single day. The Lord gave me an adventurous heart, and He has brought that out in me whether it was breaking down on the side of the interstate 200 miles from home, hiking up mountains with my best friends, standing on the porch watching the fire truck pull up to the neighbor’s house (she burnt spaghetti), driving 9 hours to surprise my best friend, or playing spike ball with college friends for hours on end.
The Lord also knows me better than I know myself, and He knows I need rest, so many of my days spent in Colorado have been spent alone…reading, hiking, napping, laying in the park, and simply spending time with Him wherever I am or whatever I am doing. Some days have been great, but other days have been a struggle for me. I am ready to go, ready to do, ready to have more stories. I leave for more training 2 weeks from today, and I leave for Cambodia in 3 weeks from tomorrow, but I don’t want to be a person always looking to what’s next…I want to be a person who lives RIGHT NOW, exactly where God thinks is best for me in this moment.
My right now is sitting at my old kitchen table in Colorado, music playing, the dog laying at my feet, while I write this blog. When I gain perspective, I feel the Lord’s presence right now turning in my heart. I know He is here with me RIGHT NOW. I choose to live in the RIGHT NOW. My right now is constantly changing. Tomorrow it will be hiking, the next day a concert, the next day the beach, and in a few weeks, it will be Cambodia. What I am learning is no place is better than the other because God has me in each place for a purpose. It’s my job to ask Him what He is doing exactly where I am and become apart of it rather than just looking ahead to what is next. Because I choose God, I trust Him wherever He might have me and under whatever circumstances I might be there.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” -Romans 8:28
He is working for my good in the stillness of being home alone. He will work for the good of me on the streets of Cambodia. He works for the good of me when I don’t feel His presence, when I lose loved ones, when I don’t know why I am doing what I am doing. IN ALL THINGS, God works for the good of me. Today, I am choosing to believe that and to live in the right now of life, knowing there is purpose for me exactly where I am.
