God has been working on my heart so much lately and I haven’t even left for the World Race.
Ever since being accepting to participate in the World Race, I have had to get out of my comfort-zone and to ask for help. I’ve never really had much trouble reaching out and talking to people but the reaching out in order to ask for help is a different story. It isn’t a pride issue but more-so an issue of feeling like I am a burden to someone. I’ve never been one to ask for help, not if I can somehow manage to take it on myself and even if I struggle while doing so (which is probably why I have two full-time jobs and why my plate is so full most of the time).
But God has been working on my heart in more ways than one. He has allowed me to see that it is okay to ask for help and that this is why He has placed people in our lives. He has given us one another – a community of people to uplift one another in Christ and to remind each other of His goodness and His grace when things around us seem to be too much. He has given us a community of people to remind us that NOTHING is too big for God, that if it’s His will, it will happen regardless of worldly circumstance or opposition.
Now with this fundraising, I have cried – a lot. I have had people shut doors in my face literally and metaphorically and at first, I was gutted because I’d never dealt with this sort of rejection before – but I’m learning that it’s okay. With the World Race, God has allowed me the opportunity to not only learn about this sort of rejection but to appreciate it – a rejection not anywhere close to, but a rejection nonetheless that Jesus Himself faced. And He has also allowed me to experience first-hand, even in the midst of all of this rejection – a sense of assurance and hope. Because despite those who have said “no”, there have been those who have said “yes”. And in moments when people do reach out a hand whether I’ve known them for years or whether they’re a complete stranger, I’m able to imagine the sort of feeling that Jesus must feel when people living in a world of full of “no” choose to say “yes” …to Him.
So yes, fundraising has been difficult, I have cried – a lot, and I am nowhere close to my first financial deadline BUT even so, He is so good and I am so thankful to even be in the position that I’m in. I have learned so much so far and I’ve gained such an appreciation for those around me and also for the opportunities and trials that God places in our lives in order for us to gain a better understanding of who He is. This has been a difficult time but it’s also been so good and dare I say maybe even a little fun.
