Last week I attended something Adventures calls Project Search Light, which is a time where racers get to come together and worship, process and debrief how being home is and what comes next. When I first heard about PSL I had absolutely no desire to go. I was at this point in the race where I wanted to be home and not constantly around 6-30 other people. Slowly through the last four months of the race the Lord softened my heart to the idea and finally I said ‘yes’ and I’m so glad I did.
It was so good to see people from my squad, to catch up on the last month of being home and to have intentional time with people. One of the best things about this week was that the people who were there wanted to be there, they chose to say yes to being there. (I know a few people had other things happening, I missed you!) What this week really was for me was affirming all the things the Holy Spirit has worked out in me over the last year. The new boldness and freedom I walk in, and all the things I’ve learned along the way about community and what living in authenticity really looks like.
I can’t even begin to tell you how many times the Lord shows up when you say yes. Even in my doubts and unfaithfulness, He shows up and provides and meets me where I’m at. Being home is weird and I thought I was the only one who felt that way. Surprise, surprise that’s exactly what satan wants me to think, that I’m the only one. I wasn’t alone in feeling that way, a lot of my squad actually felt that way. The week was filled with discussions of what it looks like to continue to live life like we did on the race, back home. We talked about how we are not the people who left America a year ago and how do we come back to a place that hasn’t changed at the same rate as us.
Now I am at this place where everyone asks, “What’s next?” and currently I have no idea, and I’m ok with that. Sure there are things like student loans and gas and insurance to pay for, but I know that God is so much bigger than all of that. Yeah, it’s hard to not always think about that when you’re jobless and don’t really know what direction to go, but the Holy Spirit continues to provide and love and give me exactly what I need when I need it.
If you are one of those racers that is on the fence about going to PSL, my advice is just do it. You can have all the excuses in the world but when you surrender all of that and say yes, I know that God will show up. You aren’t the person you were before, wherever you’re at in your race you are not the same as when you left. Keep reminding yourself that, you are a new creation, and it doesn’t have to stop once you come home. PSL has as much in store for you as you’re willing to get out of it. Use the resources and the people around you that also are choosing to say yes and don’t let that go.
Stay Salty.
