The past ten days have been a roller coaster to say the least. I started out by meeting 48 complete strangers, who in that short time became my family. To pressing into areas of my life I have always felt guarded towards. I was amazed at how you can build such quick friendships by doing one thing, being vulnerable. That is something The Lord has been teaching me over the past 6 months or so is that vulnerability breeds vulberabity. That it’s ok to share something scary or difficult with someone, and to see how they respond. Maybe it’s a “me too” or just an open heart that says it’s ok to not have it all together. Someone once put it like this “we give people permission to wound us. To give a friend a hunting license in my life says you roam any part of my life”. When we do that we are taking a step of faith in letting someone bring something to light in us that we may not want brought to the surface. Either way, there is redemption in being vulnerable with our story.
I’ve been empowered to speak my mind and that I have influence on others and to use that power to glorify what God is doing in my life. I learned that sometimes community is hard, but it is what you make of it. You have the power to make The most out of an opportunity or to sit in the pits and let satan have a foothold in your life. You have the choice to lean into the hard times and grow from them, or to shut off and stuff the emotions away. I learned sometimes you don’t have to like everybody, but you have to see them as a person, a child of God. Sometimes that’s hard to do when all they’ve done to you is brought some kind of wound to your life, or maybe they are just different than you. Whatever that looks like, we’re all human and make mistakes, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that we are His.
God is alive and He’s doing awesome things in this world, I just have to step back and see things through a different lens. I’ve realized that my heart was hard towards God, because I wasn’t choosing to see the glory of the good in the land of the living. Guess what, God showed up, I asked to see a glimpse of the kingdom of heaven, and He provided. Each day was filled with a nudging reminder “hey, this is what it’s like” and I couldn’t ignore it.
This was some of the fastest, yet drawn out ten days of my life. A lot it process in a short amount of time. I don’t think I’m even done processing the things I’ve heard. And that’s ok. I am not the same person I was ten days ago. I have experienced the glory of God’s goodness and seen a sneak peak of what it’s like to live life with boldness and courage. I was challenged at the end of the week to live my life as if grace has changed my life. A squad mate asked me one of the simplest, yet complex questions, she asked me “how are you going to live your life differently when you go home between now and launch?” Your world is the same as you left it, but you are coming back a different person.
I had no idea how to answer it. It seems easy, I’m different and I have an impact on the world around me. But what happens when the voices of this world are louder than the voice of God? That very well may happen. It’s so easy to let the things of this world consume you when you aren’t rooted in The Word and in community with fellow believers. That’s the truth is that life is hard sometimes, and it’s up to you to make the choice of where to turn in those times. I was reminded that no matter which way you turn in those moments, God is always waiting for us to turn back to Him. We turn to Him not out of shame but because we have been bought with a price, the greatest sacrifice, the blood of Jesus.
So here I am, riding in a suburban to Newport Beach, California with a bunch of high school students who I pray are open to hearing new things the Holy Spirit has to say to them. Still trying to process and “debrief” the last ten days of my life and anticipate the next year.
We found out who we will be doing life with in our teams and our first ministry in Serbia! We will be partnering with a local contact to do sports ministry with the youth in the community. We are all super excited about it and we pray that The Lord works through us to be a light to our community in Serbia. Please continue to pray for us and the community we are about to be a part of. Pray for travels and funds and fears and doubts to be diminished and erased!
if you feel led to donate, please click the support me link and follow the steps. I still need just over $5,000 by August 21 to launch in September. Thank you all for taking the time to read my posts and invest into my journey.
Loves.
