I have been in the beautiful country of Panama
for one week now. Our squad stayed in a hostel in Panama
City the first half of the week, and the rest of the
week my team has been at the beach in Santa Clara,
Panama. We have already
had a week of ministry in Panama,
and I’m sorry to say that my last blog was about entering Costa
Rica. That was over a month ago!
What have I been
doing? I am sorry for slacking off on my already infrequent blogs. Really
there is no excuse other than I didn’t know what to write about. Pretty lame,
huh?
Our month in Costa Rica
looked quite different than any other ministry location we’ve had on the World
Race. At the arrival of Central
America we had three months of ministry left before heading home.
Our squad wanted to give us the freedom to choose into ministries where we felt
led, even if that meant splitting up from our teams and going in different
directions. The idea was to prepare us for life back home, wherever home might
be. When we get home, we will not have a close team of people going with us to
visit our families or joining us at work. The ministry we choose to do will
have to come solely from an overflow of our hearts. For the first time in
almost a year, each of us will not have a team (a family as we like to call it)
that has been through the same things, that approaches life and ministry in a
different way than before the World Race, or who will join you in ministry each
and every day. When I go home, I will have to choose for myself to live each
day completely and wholly for Christ. Coming home will be quite a change, and
the time we spent in Costa Rica
aimed at preparing us for that change.
Except for one weekend spent at a beautiful beach on the
Pacific side of Costa Rica,
I spent the entire month in San Jose,
the capital city. Although the scenery was a stark contrast to the tropical beach
of Quepos, I felt led by the Lord
to remain in the city. My days were mostly made up of praying, spending time
with the handful of World Racers who also stayed in the city, getting to know
the YWAM staff where we were staying, and occasionally going to Alajuelita, the
poorest area of San Jose.
Costa Rica
was one of the most difficult months I have had on the World Race. The odd
thing is that while I learned so much from God, like what trust in Him looks
like and how much I NEED HIM above
all, I also felt very alone and distant from people and from God’s voice. It
was such a struggle to see how many amazing things God was doing, yet at the
same time feel like God was silent in the time I needed Him to speak most.
At some point I may be able to look back at my month in Costa
Rica and see the reasons or outcomes for
what happened, but even if I never understand the “whys”, I rest on God’s word
that says “The Lord is near to the
brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the
righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.” Psalm 34:18-19.
