There. I said it. I cut my hair…like a lot.
Now, I’m not one that has been super attached to my hair but I’m a woman and long hair helps me to feel as such!
At the beginning of the Race, back in the first weeks in Northern Africa, I received a text from my cousin informing me of her recent cancer diagnosis. Brianna and I are more like sisters than cousins. We grew up just three months apart, playing barbies, skiing, having countless sleepovers, doing all of the sister type things. She’s one of my greatest cheerleaders. I stood by her as she said “I do” to the sweetest man. She called me ecstatic and terrified when she found out she was pregnant with twins. I prayed with her before she delivered her babes and watched her as she navigated the craziness of life, work, wife, mom balance. Her diagnosis was tough but as I was thousands of miles away, I felt removed as well as upset that I couldn’t be there to love her, cry with her, get her what she needed, or just be a listening ear.
As I was walking along the beach one evening, trying to process these things with the Lord, And I heard Him tell me to cut my hair to which I replied with a “ok but yeah, we will see.”
Time went on and the thought never went away.
I spent many a time wrestling with the Lord and also just sobbing about it. I loved my hair and I didn’t want to feel that I looked like a boy. And I discovered that maybe some of my identity is wrapped up in my hair. I enjoy the compliments. I feel beautiful. I feel like a woman.
But as gentle as the Lord is He reminded me that it wasn’t about me at all and Brianna and millions of other cancer patients like her don’t have a choice. They can’t choose to keep their hair or choose to let it fall out it just does and they have to go through all of those emotions and thoughts.
So I did it.
It took a lot of faith and trust to walk into a tiny beauty salon in Armenia where almost no one speaks English and tell them to chop my hair off for only $3. I prayed that someone could speak English and praise a woman happened to by visiting her family who now lives in the States was there and could kind of translate. But it happened and the woman actually did an amazing job. She only looked at my picture once and got right to it.
In solidarity, I stand with my cousin.
bri, I love you and this one’s for you.
