What is church?
This question has been swirling around in my mind as of late.
Recently, a young lady reached out to me to inform me that she no longer will be coming to church because she feels that she “no longer is getting anything out of it.” She apologized to me and that was that.
I was a bit in shock and then my heart began to ache. The rest of the day, and honestly the week, my heart has been uneasy. What do I do with this? How can my heart process this? And most importantly, how can I still minister to her?
Immediately, I wanted to speak my mind and tell her how it is, but I knew that I needed to take a step back, breathe, go to God, and then if He leads me, respond with love and patience.
And then God spoke to my heart…
We all have our own unique and incredibly personal experiences with church. Many have left church altogether because they have felt that they have been deeply hurt.
We need to be a people of intention. We must dissect what we do and the purpose behind each action or else we are just wanderers in this life.
And we were not made to wander.
We were created with purpose.
God has redeemed church in my life.
Growing up as a PK, we had certain expectations placed upon us: well behaved, dress appropriately, must know all of the answers to bible trivia…just to name a few.
An upbringing like that could make anyone resent church and want to leave and honestly, a number of PKs end up doing just that.
But that is not my story.
Church is more than a building. It’s more than just a place we go to on Sundays. It’s more than even the sermon and the music.
Church is the people. That’s what church is. And until we truly believe that, we will always resent this house of sinners.
God redeemed church for me because I allowed Him to.
As I searched for my identity and purpose, I sought God with a fierce-ness and once I loosened my grip on life and finally gave God control, He broke my heart.
He opened my eyes to see as He might see.
I began to take my eyes off of myself and He directed them out, toward the world around me.
I began to see people in their brokenness and my heart was overcome with a great compassion and empathy.
I get a holy lump in my throat and grace-filled tears in my eyes when I view people as His children and nothing less.
We are not perfect and we will never be.
But that’s not what church is. It’s not a place for perfect people.
It’s a place for hurting, imperfect people who admit that they need a Savior.
It’s a place for these broken people to gather in the Name of Jesus and be the Sons and Daughters, the Family of God.
I go to church because these people are my family.
We love when we mess up. We grieve with each other. We encourage and support one another. We share with each other testimonies of God’s love and faithfulness in our lives. We laugh. We mourn. We praise God as one. That’s why I go to church.
That’s what church must mean to us.
“For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” – Matthew 18:20
Obviously, there is substantially more information that I can give on this topic of church and I may get more into it in another post, but for now, I wanted to be honest about what I’m currently struggling with and in turn, challenge us all to evaluate what church means to us. This is what God has shown me over the last several years but this past week, as my heart fret, He so delicately spoke these words to me.
I hope and pray that these jumbled words speak to your heart in some way and you open your heart a bit more to a sweet Savior who is waiting for you to let Him in.
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” –Hebrews 10:24&25
I wrote that first part several weeks ago, actually before I wrote and posted my last blog post called “it has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day” in which I wrote about deeply struggling with situations and feeling so low and hopeless. Several weeks have passed by and I figured I owed you all, my partners, supporters, and followers an update.
Immediately after posting about struggling, I had friends and family reaching out to me, offering words of love and encouragement and fervently praying over me. Y’all, I felt the love and I’m so thankful for each and every one of you. I wanted to add this bit on to the end of this post about connection and church because these last few weeks I have lived it. I have wrestled with inner demons that persistently speak lies and doubts over me. I have fought feelings of deep aloneness, failure, and uncertainties on my life’s purpose and even some doubts on my very faith and trust in my Lord and Savior. And as I sat in my own puddle of tears and shadows, small glimmers of light were bursting into my life- you all. Y’alls love picked me up and pointed me back to the love and peace and joy and sovereignty of God. He has provided everything this far, how could I not press on in belief that He’s got this? God knew I needed these people, you all, His church, and I’m so grateful for His intimate love He shows me each and every day, in the good and in the dark, heart-ache.
So, thank you church.
