Have you ever just wanted to know what was next? Think back to your school days; remember when your professors would give you the syllabus at the beginning of the semester so that you would know exactly what you were going to be learning over the course of the year?
How come life isn't like that? How come we don't get a detailed schedule of each day? I personally think I would love knowing exactly what each day would entail. Imagine: Friday, August 14 2015 you are going to wake up really groggy and won't be able to shake it no matter how many cups of coffee you have. You will work out. You won't eat dessert. You will teach swim lessons. You will get to read. Oh, be careful when walking up the stairs because you are going to stub your toe and say a few choice words. Make sure to spend extra time with this little child today because you will learn more about how to love.
Now, doesn't that just sound amazing?
You see, life isn't like that. There's not always obvious steps on how to get from one place to another. (If you're reading this and you have figured out a way to have a roadmap in your life, please do share it with the rest of us!) Sure, we can make educated guesses. When I applied for the Race, there were two possibilities of what could happen: I could get accepted or denied. I ended up getting accepted, then the next step is fundraising, then training camp, then launching.
Did I know each of those steps going into it? Heck no! I didn't even know if I was going to get accepted. But once I did, the next step showed itself, and then the next.
Right now I'm in month 8 of my 11 month journey. Believe me, I'm just as shocked as you are. I've been thinking a lot about home. What am I going to do? God, where are you leading me? Will I come back to any of the countries that have taken ahold of my heart? Is there a 'next' thing I am supposed to do?
These thoughts have been constant prayers. I feel as though I have a multitude of options to do once I get home and I don't want to pick the wrong one. Only, I don't think there is a wrong one.
I cannot tell you how many hours I have spent in prayer, on my knees, and writing asking Jesus what I am supposed to do next. It's like He has cut me off from His answer. I don't know what it is, if I am being completely honest. I want to know. More than anything I want just a little snippet of information on my next step. But I don't have it.
Want to know why?
Because I'm afraid of it.
Once I get this lovely piece of information, I'll have to act on it. I'll have to see what the action plan is to get there and go and do whatever God is calling me to do.
It's like before the World Race all over again. I want to do God's will for my life, but I don't want to do it the wrong way.
Here's my thing. I need to not be afraid of where God is calling me. Whether it's to another country, a different school, a different state. I need to not be afraid of it and learn to trust Him and His plan for me. I mean, come on, He's gotten me literally all the way across the world and I'm fine, so why not the rest of my life?
And you, whoever you are, I challenge you to learn to lean on God too. He isn't going to give you a detailed itinerary of the day, He just wants you to trust Him with it.
