Beauty.
What is beauty anyways? We see beauty in nature. We see it in song writing and poems. We see it in colors and fabrics. We see beauty in photography and painting. We see it in people and animals. We even see it in objects and food.
But what makes a woman beautiful? What makes people look at a woman and think to themselves, “wow, she is beautiful.”
Is it the hair? The makeup? The clothes? The laugh? The high heals? The tan skin? The size of her chest? Maybe it’s how small her waist is. It could even be how tall or short she is. There’s a million and one things that could make a woman beautiful.
Sadly I see many women seek out their beauty in the worldly conformities that tell them what they should look like. Im even guilty of it. Women are constantly looking at the other that is plastered on the magazine, instantly comparing every grainy detail.
Our beauty is often put to test by how many guys will flirt with us, how many whistles you receive, whether or not your boyfriend or husband watches pornography or even how many likes you get on your new profile pict or Instagram upload.
As women, we are constantly basing our beauty off of the circumstances that life shoves down our throat….or what it doesn’t.
We even do it subconsciously. We tell ourselves, “if only I looked like she does. Maybe I won’t eat today. Maybe I’ll wear more makeup, get my hair done, a spray tan, and some tighter clothes. Maybe I’ll whiten my teeth, tone my arms, get colored contacts, curl my hair and wear some lipstick. Maybe, just maybe, then I’ll be beautiful.”
As women, how are we supposed to sustain from defining our beauty off of the magazines, the likes, the whistles and the winks. How do we learn how to accept our natural beauty? How do we break the mold and stand firm in the beauty that God gave us at our current state of appearance?
On the race, I feel like I’ve been stripped of every cover up I could have had. It’s pointless to wear makeup, ridiculous to dress up and absurd to do your hair. I hardly ever shower because I’m constantly sweating and continuously filthy. The last few things that I’m holding onto, as far as “beauty” goes is keeping my nails short and clean, not letting my armpit and leg hair get out of control and not crapping myself.
As I thought about what I considered clean and beautiful in my current state, I had to laugh because it is so drastically different than the expectations I had of myself in the states.
In the states, it was a whole different ball game. I hated it when I went to work with little to no make up on because almost everyone thought I was sick or asked if I was tired. I worked out a lot because I wanted to keep my body healthy and attractive. I wanted to tan my skin because I knew that I looked better darker. I actively kept myself hairless because I knew that was probably more attractive.
Now surely it is different for every woman; the battles she has with beauty and why. For myself it was due to insecurities that I’ve carried since the 6th grade combined with being taken advantage of, being submissive, and finding pornography on many laptops.
Every woman struggles with beauty for one reason or another and my struggles may be different than yours, but I’m sure that we can agree that there is a problem at the way most women define their beauty.
Two years ago I thought I worked through the way I saw my beauty. But after watching a close friend of mine on the race, break down and cry about all the pressures she had conformed to and lived by for so long, I found that I still had work to do.
Beauty is so much more than the outward adornment. It’s resides deeper. Deeper than keeping your finger nails clean, wearing mascara and bathing.
I have seen so much beauty displayed in many different arrays while being on the race that it has challenged me to reevaluate the way I look and hold beauty. In the dictionary beauty is defined as the qualities that give pleasure to the senses, an outstanding example of its kind and a very attractive or seductive looking woman.
To be honest, I hate the way the dictionary depicts beauty and I hate even more what Hollywood and the pornography industry has done to women and their beauty; making it nearly impossible to measure up to the women that we see being displayed. But I suppose that’s a different conversation for another time.
However, there is a beauty that all of us already hold. In the Bible, beauty is often used to describe the Lord or the works of the Lord. ( see Psalms 27:4 & Ecc. 3:11). In Song of Solomon it is said “you are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.” We are a work of the Lord and He made us beautiful in His own unique way.
As a woman that walks with Christ intimately, I know in my head that He calls me beautiful. He calls all of His creations beautiful. But how come it doesn’t always transcend into my heart? How come I still struggle to think I am beautiful? Why do I still compare myself to the women on the magazines and screens.
It is so tricky to maintain my confidence in the beauty that the Lord gave me. I get stuck when I don’t think that I’m fitting into my definition of beauty. Satan sneaks in the back doors of my brain daily. Sometimes he attacks my self image and other times he attacks the beauty that resides inside. I find myself constantly fighting off the lies, asking Jesus to defend my beauty. Because Jesus is the only one that can truly give me the satisfaction, acceptance and confidence in my beauty. He is the one that will fill my heart, where my deepest and purest form of beauty resides.
As I walk through the meaning of beauty and how I cherish it, I am consistently reminded that beauty is not what surfaces on the outside of my skin or the shape of my body figure. Rather it is what Jesus plants and grows on the inside. My beauty is not dependent on the woman standing next to me or the amount of make up that I am wearing. It is completely dependent on the condition of my heart and the Holy Spirit that resides inside of me.
Maybe this blog was just for me to process in another form, or maybe it was for another woman. I’m not quite sure. But if you are struggling with beauty, know that you are not alone.
Many women struggle with this throughout the years of their life. But what it really comes down to is who you are letting define your beauty. Are you letting the world define it? Are you letting the men in your life set the standard for your beauty? Are you letting the makeup and fashion stores mold your beauty? Are you protecting the beauty that resides inside of you with discernment and wisdom?
Don’t let those things have a grip on your beauty because all of those are ways that satan sneaks in and wraps a lie around your beauty to deceive you.
Protect the the beauty that Jesus has given to you. Don’t let anything or anyone steal the beauty out of your heart because Jesus is the one that resides inside of you. His beauty is your beauty.
