My father was an artist when he was my age. He went to college during the civil rights era. “Black art” was not highly regarded or well respected in comparison to “white art”. My father has paintings from his past all over our house (paintings of Martin Luther King Jr., Malcolm X) It wasn’t until before the race that I asked him what his “signature” at the bottom of his paintings meant (L.A.M.A.R). L.A.M.A.R stood for “laws against morality and reason”. My father never really spoke of his life before I was born. Most of the information I knew about him was gathered from my step mother. Growing up I always resented my father for not being more open and forthcoming with me. The number of times I heard I love you growing up could be counted on one hand. But what did I care? I moved in with my dad at age 11 after my mothers death. I had already been through what I decided was the worst thing that could happen, so who cares if my dad and I didn’t have an emotional bond?
I lived my life, spewing out pain and bitterness at the cards life dealt. I took ownership of these decisions, eventually.. I mean he was my father but I was my own man, right.
I’ve realized over the race with Gods help, and a good book here and there that my relationship with my earthly father has weight in how I approach my relationship with Christ. The race has been a sort of initiation into manhood. An initiation I have been longing for and searched for so long in all the wrong places.
The race has taught me that I don’t need to look any further than my own father (earthly and heavenly) to discover who I am. I cannot be the man of God I was meant to be by simply manning up and doing the best I can on my own. No I have to pursue my earthly father as my Heavenly Father pursues us both. I have to constantly forgive my father for his mistakes just as my children will have to for me. If you want something from God ask, if you want a relationship with your father, you must seek their heart. When you give God your heart without all your conditions or expectations of how things should be done or by whom you will find a new appreciation for the reckless love that God pours on each and every one of us.
Fathers pursue your children, they will act on your influence whether it’s an intended influence or not. Don’t just tell them you love them and provide for them but share your heart for your Heavenly Father with them. If you’ve always been the disciplinarian your children will see God through that lens. I only hope through my obedience to leave my pride at the door I can become a man honorable and worthy to my fathers both heavenly and earthly. In the end that’s what most men live and die for is the honor of their creator. The one they owe their all to.
I love you dad.
————————————————————————————————————————–
I am still in need of $1,930 for this race to be fully funded. I have been blown away from the enormous amount of generosity pouring in from friends and family all over the country. If you feel led to contribute to my journey please click on the support me tab. As always I am always in need of prayers as my team is helping build an orphanage in Nepal. Next month my very own step mother will be joining me in Swaziland for a week! I am beyond excited to be able to share this race with her!!!
In Christ,
Greg
