The quotes are my thoughts and the writing afterward gives a
bit of a description of the frame of reference.
Wednesday: “Oh boy,
not her again, I really don’t want to hear another sob story and be asked for
money again” Working at the Homeless feeding Center this last week I got a
chance to me a variety of people to say the least. One particular lady I met on Monday and she
and I talked for over an hour as she was preparing to use the shower. She kept on telling me story after story of
her life but sometimes things were not connecting and I felt like she wasn’t
telling the truth at times. Later on our
contact for the month pulled a few of us aside and said that she (this lady)
tells exaggerated stories so that people will have sympathy for her and give
her money. With all this in mind, I saw
her walking toward the shower area on Wednesday and had that thought. God reminded me that we are all His children
and that I am no better than her and that I ought to love her still the same. Humbling.
Thursday: “One more isn’t going to be that big of a deal.”
Thursday was our day off and Sabbath. I
took full advantage of sleeping in, only to go out and take pictures around
town. As I was taking pictures I ran
across 2 girls from my team and they were on their way to a Chocolate shop, so I
thought I would join them…of course to make sure they were safe…ok, its because
I wanted chocolate too. We get there and
are greeted and then taken on a little tour where we got to try a variety of
chocolate samples. Half way through the
tour, I remembered I was fasting. I knew
God had grace for my forgetfulness and not meaning to break fast, but as we
kept going, I had that thought. Now
unfortunately I did give in to the thought, which obvious, being aware I was
fasting, and broke it anyways is sin…I confessed and repented but God was
taught me that just even those little thoughts, if not immediately dismissed
can lead you astray.
Friday: “These people can be so selfish, don’t they
understand we have other people to feed as well.” Once again at the Kawan Center and we were
handing out breakfast to the people walking in which consisted of donated bread
from a very nice bakery and fresh coffee and tea. Unfortunately the bakery doesn’t always have
tons of bread to give us so we made up some rice dish to give out incase we ran
out of bread. As I sat there giving the
coffee and bread away, some people kept on coming up and taking more bread
after we told them to wait because we needed to make sure we had enough for
others when they came in. But a few of
them just kept coming up and taking the bread and even trying to be a bit
sneaky about it. All of this was irritating
me because I didn’t want to have to say that we were out of food to people who
came later because others took too much. So God gently asked me to put myself in the people’s shoes who were
coming in every day on a day to day basis. He said that they don’t have the option of just getting food whenever so
they take it when they can. Gentle and Humbling.
Saturday: So this day is a bit different, it wasn’t just a
single thought but rather a whole conversation with myself about being
responsible and not being late for something that you planned. It was evening and we had spent some time at
the mall with a local friend having coffee and we were having team time at
8pm. Another teammate and I were outside
waiting for the bus at 7:30 so we could get back in time, we waited and waited
and waited and nothing showed up its was close to 9pm. Most of the time I was getting impatient and
started getting frustrated with the situation which then got me frustrated with
myself because I felt like I should be on time, even though the circumstance
was outside my control. These thoughts,
were not uplifting or encouraging and just got me more mad at myself than I ought
to have been. Through my friend who was
next to me, God showed me that I don’t need to be upset with myself. He showed me that I need to understand Grace
and just as I would extend grace to another, I need to extend it to
myself. Hard pill to Swallow.
Sunday: “Why couldn’t they have just practice an hour or two
earlier this week and it would flow a bit smoother.” We went to a small church service and had a
great worship experience but they had a slide projector that just didn’t quite
go hand in hand with the songs. There
was some confusion amongst what songs were being sang and when. This is not a huge thing but my mind was just
trying to think of ways to be just a bit better. God said that it isn’t for me to worry about.
He would rather have me be completely absorbed in Him that I wouldn’t even know
that they had a slide projector problem. Also he said that I need to stop criticizing things that different than
what I would make them to be, I can only be responsible for myself.
Monday: “Cheap people, it’s for a good cause and you could
at least give me the least bit of notice or attention.” On Monday we started a
new ministry, we are helping out at a hospital, trying to raise funds for their
childrens heart ward. So we go around
with donation boxes and with cds/stuffed animal fish/tin box that people can
buy to which proceeds go toward the children. What is a bit different about this than would be in the states is that
we are selling to the people visiting in the hospital, ie. Patients, family,
friends, nurses, etc… So I can understand people’s frustration, the last thing
some of them are thinking about is donating toward a good cause when they
themselves are trying to figure out what is wrong with them or their loved
one. God pointed me back to all the
times that I never gave other people the time a day when they looked forward
donations. Mercy.
Tuesday: “This lady smells like fish.” (action taken:
scooted in my seat further away from her and closer to the bus window) We were
riding back from the hospital on a public bus, a rather nice bus with air
conditioning, back toward our hotel where we have been staying all month and
about mid way through the 30 min. bus ride, a lady sits next to me who smells a
“different”. As I had my thought and
slight action, God reminded of where she might be coming from. Perhaps she works at a fish market, chopping fish
all day so that she can provide for herself and her family. I didn’t take time to think about her
situation before I acted on my own.
