I love the church that I have found here in Johnson City! It resembles the body of Christ beautifully, it perfectly paints how marriage between man and woman should be, and it fulfills the Great Commission with love and generosity. The other night we all prayed LIKE CRAZY (as usual) asking, begging, pleading, that God would make known to us what He desires for us to do. It was BEAUTIFUL! God told several people to start Bible Studies with non-believers, to join our Church, to disciple specific people, to give more in generosity, and to be baptized! Yet, I didn’t hear or feel anything….what’s wrong with me? So, I went home last night and started praying and praying and praying! Then His desires just WASHED over me to the point where I felt like I was drowning. He desires for me to become a man. Not just a man, but a man of God, a man after His own heart!
He was saying that of course I am His child! I will always be His child with whom He loves! But currently I am only a child, not a man – not a man of God. And now I have this feeling in my heart, this FLAME that I just can’t control! I desire sooooooooo much to be a man of God! Not so that I may boast in myself and look down upon those who are still just children, for God has unconditional love for all of His children! I desire nothing more than to be obedient to God, and He is telling me it is time to climb the mountain with my hands wide open, to hold on to nothing, to see the promised land, and become a man of God! I want the armor of the spirit so that I may descend from the mountain into that valley that is blanketed in death and dry bones unafraid, for we have already won! I desire to be a man of God so that He may use me to raise these dry bones! I desire to be a man of God so that all glory goes to Him!
I desire to be a man of God for the possibility of a wife! I know I am only 21, but I desire to be a man that grows with his wife in the Lord, not a man that holds her back…that is no man. I desire to be a man whose marriage truly symbolizes the relationship Christ will one day have with us! With complete joy, passion, contentment, respect, faith, generosity, and above all love. I desire to be a man of God so that even if I do not get married I may realize that I do not need sex in order to experience perfect love, His Love! I desire to be a man of God so that my friends, family, and other loved ones may come to know Him as well.
I need you to understand how difficult this is for me to write. I am admitting that I am still a child, not something I really enjoy admitting. Now I will have to be VERY disciplined in my walk with Him. So I beg my brothers and sisters in Christ to call me out when I do not uphold His will; again, being called out is not something I enjoy. I feel like I just threw my pride into a burning furnace; yet, I feel so content right now. God tells us that no one enjoys being disciplined, but when it’s over it is SOOO worth it! Again, not easy for me to write…
So I BEG of you to be praying for me as God works in my heart! Pray for the World Race for I believe this will be a HUGE tool that will forever define me as a man of God. Pray that I am beyond obedient and active in the will of God instead of being passive before the Race. Every day is a mission. Pray that I abide in His love, mercy, grace, and faith- that I abide in our Dad, so that I may have His heart! It is time that I become a man of God, so pray.
