As many of you know God called me to go on the race with, well, not much. At least less than the average World Racer. I argued and kicked and screamed because I wanted to look legit with my big ole hiking backpack, and I was unsure of what would happen if I had no tent or sleeping bag or pad and few clothes. Obviously, God won the argument, like always. I wrote a blog about the whole process several months back if you want to read it, it is called “I GO with Nothing”. So here I am now, in Thailand, with no more than 20 pounds of gear, 9 months left on the race, and guess what?! Well I will tell you what, He asked it again.
Yup, He asked me to give up even more. I felt and heard the exact same voice that I heard several months ago that said, “Go, but go with little gear.” I was just lying on the ground in Thailand (I don’t have a sleeping pad) and when I heard it I thought, “Oh crap! Here we go again!” I then shouted out while laughing hysterically, “Hahahaha, seriously! You want me to get rid of even more of my gear? I only have so much? What do I give away?” I then heard, “Just trust me.”
I sat in this hysterical confusion and I thought to myself,
“Well, God, if this is you telling me to abandon my 20 pounds of gear I would like a couple of things to affirm it.
1. I need a new smaller bag to carry my Bible and journals
2. I would like to understand the importance of giving up even more stuff
3. If I give it up I would like to be affirmed with joy and not fear
Amen”
No more than 20 minutes later our squad leaders Joel and Malenna arrive to our ministry sight in order to spend the week with us in ministry. Joel walks up to me and starts showing off his new man purse that some Thai men who are obsessed with Native American culture had hand made for him. It was honestly one of the greatest man purses I had ever seen, so I said, “Dude, Joel, that bag is so awesome looking! I wish I had a bag like that.” And just like that Joel had an extra one and gave it to me…very funny God.
So we can check number 1 off the list.
About 10 minutes later I went up stairs to get some alone time with God and read. I opened the book I was reading, Kingdom Journey’s by Seth Barnes, and read the last page of Chapter 4. As I turned the page to Chapter 5 what stuck out to me was the title of this chapter; “Abandon”. Ahhhhh crap! (Come one Seth Barnes! You just had to write this chapter didn’t you?) Well, as I read this chapter God used just about every single paragraph to cross off number 2 on the list.
When I finished reading the chapter I was by no means angry with God. I knew it was His voice by now, so I put Kingdom Journey’s to the side and said, “Okay God. I will go with less. I trust you will provide, you have never let me down so let’s do this thing Dad.” Right then I just started laughing and rejoicing! I smiled and just couldn’t stop feeling so happy and free! I laughed and laughed and laughed due to the amount of joy that flooded into my heart. I started crying I was laughing so hard. I said through my laughter, “Oh yeah! Number 3, I forgot about that one! Thanks Dad!”
What a joyful sacrifice this is! I know not what God plans to teach me, and even my team, as I give up even more. I guess God is showing me that we can take Luke 10:4 literally and not be afraid, but instead be perfectly fine. I know my God and He has provided thus far! I have read and heard of His provisions, I am an adopted son of God and what’s His is mine, so long story short, I will be fine. Sure it will be hard at times, but I will rejoice and learn to trust more. As Seth Barnes wrote in Chapter 5,
“By leaving what we trust and know, we began to trust and know knew things. We learn to rely on a Father who does not abandon his children, to really open ourselves up to his love. Ultimately, we learn to obey as we never have before […] He wants us to give up our control and trust him.”
So, mom and dad be ready for a package to arrive home with my stuff inside =) For the next 8 months I will have chacos, hardly any clothes, 3 journals, a kindle, a Bible, an i-pod, and most importantly my God, my Father, my Abba, my Daddy.
Here are the two bags I will have for the rest of the Race
Lower me still my God, show me things of new, humble me more, make me poor in spirit, teach me to trust more, what’s mine is yours, take it all. Thank you, I trust you. Shove Galatians 4:6-7 into my heart! Let’s bring the Kingdom!
Amen
