so it wasnt really a quick thing… being in orange county can stifle your ability to see clearly even in the most disastrous of times. i have been side tracked too many times with ideas and temptations to go off course. enough times i had given my time and effort over to useless and just plain stupid things.
so this past year had been a peculiar one. i sold everything. (this was partly due to me losing my consulting company as well as the will to do proper business in orange county {evil people live here lol}) but i slowly got rid of everything. not only was i craigslisting everything but i was giving stuff away. i had so quickly become defined by my possessions, which tends to happen frequently here in newport, and i hated it. i tried my hardest to become more dependent on God throughout the time of dimishing my worldly possessions.
so once again i realised the things i had all along. He was always there and He never failed to provide even in the hardest of times. all i had left, after selling all my furniture and all my “things” i became free … sorda – you get my drift. it allowed me to focus on the things that are eternal. i focused on 2 quotes and try to engrain them into my daily grind.
– he is no fool to give up what he cannot long keep for what he cannot ever lose — Jim Elliot
– what does it benefit a man to gain the whole world but lose his own soul — JC
this led to me surveying the current crisis of the world. i concluded that i had some awesome God given abilities and that i was overly blessed. and i was using these for my advantage. but now i want to see what will happen if i apply these to the kingdom. i know im going to have a big DUHHH moment… cause i have always known what will happen if i do this. but for some reason there will always be an apprehensiveness towards giving my life in this way… so once again i muster up the strength and GO FOR IT!
so i have felt that God has been preparing me in many different ways how to serve His Kingdom. and i feel i am ill-equipped to take on this honorable and humble task without putting some time in with HIs people.. and looking after and caring for those who are lost among the world… and to do it with a group of other souls who are on the same track. i am excited. no i am thrilled.
i will be praying for those on the trip in my group and i hope you guys can pray for me. that God will prepare my heart and my body for serving and enjoying His way of Life!
thanks
