Its the calm before the storm. Stepping out like this is kinda scary but exciting at the same time. The unknown of what is to come or where. Taking a blind leap of faith like this is not the usual in my arsenal of smart decisions. But the underlying issue isn’t whether or not I will do well or not or even when I will come back. It is what my attitude will be when I do. I have some personal issues to deal with. Whether or not they are worked on here or there isn’t the big question either.
I want to preach to you for a second. Rather this is me really preaching to myself but I thought I’d cue you in on what verses have been laying heavy on my heart. This might be a littler longer than any of my prior blogs but all the more necessary. When you read this remember that I am calling myself out on this first and foremost. This is my issue and I am not trying to say everyone has this particular issue. But you can seek God and find out where you are in the midst of this. So I will first preach my sermon then ephasize my personal remarks after.
There are simply too many distractions for me here. Thats not to say they won’t be anywhere else. I am saying that there is a different community where I am heading. There are too many alterior motives here. Too many lifestyle choices. How can one find themselves among the hectic rat race that is America? And whats worse is we use a word like ‘boredom’ to describe just how lackidaisical we feel about the most beautiful things placed in our path (what an insult to God!?). We dont know what makes us happy or content but we avidly search for it at whatever the cost.
So I want to for a second talk about happiness (or the lack there of) in my life and what seems like — those around me as well. We all want happiness… thats a no brainer. But why has our quest for a euphoria come up so short? Why are there more avenues of therapy and pills we can take to sustain us and keep us ‘content’. All the while we have some innate longing to be satisfied beyond this world. An intrinsic feeling of heaven we know we all want and know we dont have?!
Well lets do an experiment. Its simple. Trust me!
Think now with me and try to list all the things that would make you happy. Or at least try to think of what the most common opinion polls would list. If some everyday Americans were given a sheet to write down the most important traits of happiness… what would they be.
Don’t worry. These are on my mind ALL the time so I will go ahead and write them out.
1) Wealth – if you noticed someone sitting next to you had a big smile on their face you might ask, “Did you just win the lottery?
2) Freedom from Pain – we are the generation of penicillin and antibiotics. The last thing we’d ever want is to feel anything… feel pain.
3) Conquest of Nature and Fortune – in some fantasy we all wish we were some sort of Alexander the Great.
4) Self Esteem – we hope for confidence in daily life to be able to complete our daily tasks without being criticised. Im ok – your ok in a sense.
5) Justice – social justice. Respond against enemies and conquer the evil ones.
6) Sex – we have to include this. Satisfaction on a sensual nature is in our nature.
7) Win/Competition – take down your opponent. Conquer. Grow stronger and faster in order to accomplish beating your adversary.
8) Honor – to be accepted, loved, and understood.
9) Life – Long and healthy.
We use the word happy and blessed as interchangable but in reality they are near polar opposites.
Now for the real thought experiment.
The top 9 arguments listed above seem to be beyond argument. They seem reasonable and universally known and accepted. Whomever could deny that these would be a part of happiness would be a fool. Whomever insisted that happiness consisted in their opposites would be insane and proclaimed a lunatic!
Let us now do this expirement. Let us suppose that there was a preacher that taught that exact insanity! That the universally known traits of happiness listed above were actually found in their reciprocal! And that this preacher listed them point for point, deliberately and specifically. Perhaps your imagination cant go that far. But I want you to stretch it even farther… imagine this man becoming the most famous, beloved, revered, respected, and believed teacher in the history of the world.
Imagine everyone in the world… even those who dont classify themselves as His disciples praise His wisdom… especially his moral wisdom. Especially the most beloved and remembered sermon He ever preached– the sermon on the mount. In which He begins with his 180 degree reversal of these truisms. Im speaking specifically about Christs’ 8 beatitudes. The one part of the New Testament that is still held up as central and valid and true and good and beautiful even by descenters, heretics, revisionists, demythologizers, skeptics, modernist, theological liberals and anyone else who cannot bring himself to believe all the other claims of the NT or the teachings of the church – these people strain at the nat but swallow the camel!
So what did Christ say?
For our desire for Wealth – Blessed are the poor in spirit [Matt 5:3]. Those who can detach themselves so far from Earthly riches they can still see His glory and the spiritual riches in heaven.
For our desire for Freedom from Pain – Blessed are those who mourn [Matt 5:4].
For our desire for Conquest of Nature – Blessed are the meek [Matt 5:5]. The timid. These are the people who lay low. Storing up treasures in heaven instead of desiring the things that may perish.
For our desire for Self Esteem – Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness [Matt5:6]. Those who strive for sanctity.
For our desire for Justice – Christ said Blessed are the merciful [Matt 5:7]. Those who give grace and offer forgiveness in its place.
For our desire for Sex – Blessed are the pure in heart [Matt 5:8]. The ones who glorify God not just with body but mind and heart.
For our desire for Competition – Blessed are the peacemakers [Matt 5:9]. Those who could care not for war or winning.
For our desire for Honor – Blessed are the persecuted [Matt 5:10]. These men and women have heaven in mind. An Eternal mindstate.
Do I live this way? Do I live eternally or temporaly? Do I put myself in the position to learn this or do I strategically place myself in areas where sin is the predominant force and activity? Christ didnt come to save me from suffering but rather He saved me from Sin!
Its time for me to make a decision. I want to follow Christ. Follow in these ways. I need to hammer into my head this eternal framework not so I can be ‘happy’ but that I can know the Father. Christ is the image of the Father. God said in giving us Christ He gave us His image. “He and I are one”. I am desperate to see the face. In the C.S. Lewis novel ‘Till We Have Faces’, it exemplifies how we cannot see the face of the God until we ourselves have faces. How can the peasant marry the King when they are seperated by classes. Christ broke through that class by sacrficiing Himself for me and you. That I may have a face to see!
I love that song Hosanna by Hillsong. Because today I “see a generation… rising up to take their place — with selfless faith. I see a near revival… stirring as we pray and seek.”
I want to see that revival… I want to be that generation. I want those around me to jump in full bore! We have been brought up in a culture where courage and real character are nearly frowned upon. To take this Cross we must have that real courage.
In his 1978 Harvard commencement address, Alexander Solzhenitsyn said, “Nothing more conspicuously distinguishes us than our lack of courage and our passion. You see this strikingly when you live in another culture or even when you read the writings of another culture like the middle ages or ancient Israel”
Soren Kierkegaard in ‘Either/Or’ said, “Let others complain that our age is wicked. My complaint is that it is wretched for it lacks passion. Mens thoughts are thin and flimsy like lace. They themselves are pitiable like lace-makers. The thoughts of their hearts are too poulry to be sinful. For a worm it might be regarded a sin to harbor such thoughts but not for a being made in the image of God! Even their lusts are dull and sluggish. Their passions sleepy. They do their duty… these shop-keeping souls but they clip the coin a trifle. They think that even if the Lord keeps a careful set of books they may still cheat him a little. Out upon them! This is the reason my soul always turns back to the Old Testament and Shakespeare! Those who speak there are at least human beings – they hate, they love, they murder their enemies and curse their descendants throughout all generations — they sin!”
I sit now in a Starbucks in Newport Beach California. I do not know what the following years will hold for me. I do know that I want to be with a community who loves Christ and searches His face daily. I want to cry. I want my heart to be broken for what breaks His. For these reasons I must GO… stand beside the broken and feed the hungry…those who hunger and thirst for Godly spiritual riches and cry out for redemption.
Lastly I want to share my new verse. Rarely do I pull one verse out say that “this is my specific struggle” or proclaim “this is what I must live by”. In the past I have had verses like Luke 10:25-28 or Matt 5:26-35 on my wall.
My daily devotion now is this parable – [Luke 14:7-11].
7When he noticed how the guests picked the places of honor at the table, he told them this parable: 8“When someone invites you to a wedding feast, do not take the place of honor, for a person more distinguished than you may have been invited. 9If so, the host who invited both of you will come and say to you, ‘Give this man your seat.’ Then, humiliated, you will have to take the least important place. 10But when you are invited, take the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he will say to you, ‘Friend, move up to a better place.’ Then you will be honored in the presence of all your fellow guests. 11For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”
I now take the humble route. Quiet and reserved. I hope not to cause too much attraction by writing this or even writing a bunch of blogs but I have to convey the stories somehow. But there will be much I wont share.
I hope this has been helpful to you. It has for me. Now I get to stand beside this proclamation in time. We will see…
Thanks guys for taking the time to read this. Love you guys!
-gtm
