Friends were hung out with, favorite places were visited, favorite shows were watched, memories were made, and tears were shed as I said my goodbyes to my wonderful friends and family for the year….
…..and it finally began to hit me just how much I have back in the good ol' cow-town of Greeley CO.
My heart began to ache inside of me.
My mind started to methodically break-down all that I was leaving, all that I would miss, and who may not even be there when I get back.
"WHAT AM I DOING?"
I remember hearing that voice vivdly whispering it's way through my thoughts.
Then it asked,
Am I ready for this?
Am I ready for a year away from the ones I love dearly?
Am I ready to sacrifice the things I love?
Ready to miss out on many great moments back home?
Am I adequate share the gospel?
Skilled enough to be a team leader?
Honestly,
I wasn't.
I began to pray.
I asked Him what was going on.
Actually, I yelled.
Actually, I cried out to God in ways that I had only done a couple of times in my life.
"Where was that lion-hearted, confident, Bible thumping crazy Graham Cracker that emerged from training camp only weeks ago???"
And as I was in the middle of my little hissy fit, peace came over me, and I realized I was right where I needed to be.
AT HIS FEET.
I am ready now, and not because of how I have prepared myself, but how He has prepared me.
I am ready, not because I have it all together, but because I am going to depend on Him to make it all work.
I am ready to lead my team, not because I became fearless and overflowing with wisdom overnight, but because I am being lead by a God who is feared by all and is the author of wisdom.
I am ready now because He is my strength, and I look forward to a year of humble submission to His love, peace, and perfect sovereignty.
