I grew up on the sweet and soulful words of 90s and early 2000s country music, a family favorite being Kenny Chesney’s The Good Stuff.
Post deciding to join the Race I’ve had a few moments of absolute terror. Like ‘bawling my eyes out and having to sit down at the landing of the stairs because my heart is pumping impossibly fast and I don’t remember how to breathe any more’ kind of terror. I have NO idea how to live on my own, let alone in another country. My life in Katy is routine and safe, I know who my friends are, I have time for my hobbies and interests, I face little persecution, and I have any food I want available to me at all hours of the day. What am I thinking? I’m about to go live with 54 strangers who know nothing about me but the ‘get to know you’ facts, I’m not going to be able to run, alone time is going to be a rarity, I’m going to famish nine months without the granola bars I’ve eaten several times a day consistiently for the past 13 years, and I’m leaving my dog behind. What on Earth is wrong with me? I think about taking off for Cambodia and my chest feels tight. This is quite possibly the most painful choice I could make for my life next year, and I’m asking people for money to help me do it? Insanity. Absolutely ludicrous.
One day pretty recently, in the midst of another melt down, God shook me by the shoulders and said, “Listen up kid. I am WAY smarter than you. I am so ridiculously kinder than you are, and I care about you infinitely more than you could ever DREAM of loving me. I’m the taxi driver from New York, and you’re the fifteen year old with a permit trying to go straight from the parking lot to I-10. That stuff, the stuff you think is “good”, is futile. I have never promised you comfort, only peace. You want granola bars over my glory? You’re scared of being lonely for a couple of months, when I have people for you to meet that have been alone their entire lives, waiting for me to send you to love them? I am the stuff. I am IT. Apart from me there is no good. I am giving this to you, so take it. Grab my hand and fight for this like you’ve never fought for anything because I am leading.”
I have no idea what I’m in for. People have been asking me if I’m excited, and I’ve been honestly answering that I’m equal parts excited and terrified. I guarantee I’m going to have another freak out in the next nine months, and probably whilst on the Race too, but what a thing to freak over. I’ve been given an opportunity to focus on nothing but my life’s purpose of telling people how loved they are by the same God that painted the stars for nine whole months. This is a gift, not a burden.
And that, THAT my friends, is the good stuff.
