The Father has long since been stirring my spirit for Asia and it feels so right to be in this continent. Asia is so full of COLOR!
As captivating as this place is, after walking through Malaysia and now Thailand I have encountered a depth of spiritual heaviness that I have never quite tasted before. There is no lack of spirituality in the nation of Thailand; it is not spiritually empty in the least. But there is a spiritual darkness that blankets this place.
This month my team was placed in Bangkok, Thailand where we lived in a hostel just down the street from a Hindu temple. The smell of burning incense lingering through the streets and intertwined flowers they believe protect them from evil spirits made me sick to my stomach. Everything appeared so colorful, so inviting. The sound of chiming bells and lifted voices in a void of worship made me want to scream. Every time I walked by I literally had to whisper the name of Jesus aloud. Even simply walking through the streets, I felt as if my feet where heavy beams of iron and I was desperate to find just a beam of light.
One day as I was walking home I passed a beautiful, young Thai girl hand-in-hand with an older man with white hair. My heart broke as I brushed past the couple. I wanted to walk right between them and break them apart from holding each other; from holding anything. I wanted to yell, “DON’T YOU KNOW YOU ARE HELD!?”
Anger and complete disgust bubbled inside of me for the man who led her. But it was quickly replaced with deep sorrow for why he felt the need. He was so empty. Lost. Searching.
I sat before the Father and wept over these strayed souls. I long for them to know the Love I know.
Then, I rose up out of bed on the day Jesus rose from the grave, and he met me in the secret place and reminded me of his glorious light. I meditated on the Resurrection Story according to the gospel of John and I was struck with a stream of blinding truth. You see, Mary Magdalene rose early that morning too, before the sun had even dawned. She found the empty cave-tomb and in haste went to go tell Jesus’ beloved disciples. But none of them yet understood. They didn’t remember his promise. While the disciples returned to their homes, Mary stayed. She chose to stay and sit in the darkness of the empty, light-less cave.
And that’s where he met her. In her deepest sorrow. In the dark.
At first, he was unrecognizable. She had no idea to whom she spoke. The Resurrected King’s very first words as he rose from the dead were, “Woman, why are you weeping?”
“Why are you weeping?”
“Don’t you remember what I told you?”
“Don’t you remember my promise?”
“Oh, don’t you know how much I love you?”
Then, he called her by name.
“Mary.”
It was not until he breathed her name that she knew the Glory that stood before her. She was stunned, and then flooded with remembrance. Because Mary had chosen to remain in the darkness, light-glory was revealed to her. THEN, she was chosen to be the messenger. The light-bearer. The minister. The flame of fire. To deliver the most world-changing and earth-shaking news in all of history!
While serving alongside a missions team in Bangkok, we had the honor of getting to know one of the most precious souls I have ever come to know named Yok. Yok’s face radiates the very face of Jesus. She also bravely stands alone as the only believer in her family. As a part of our ministry, we spent a day in fasting and intercession along with our new and dear friend. Through tears, she shared her heavy heart for her family and how she longed to be a truth-bearer to the ones she treasures so. She asked us to intercede on her behalf; to pray for courage to share true joy and for her dear ones to come to know this Love. We laid hands on her and lifted her heart of hope and asked that her faith would spill over into the souls of her family. Yok left for a few days to travel home for their new year holiday and returned bearing the news that she had the opportunity to share the grace and truth she had discovered. Then, her sister-in-law chose to receive the greatest act of love and allow Jesus to make a home in her heart! PRAISE THE LORD! We rejoiced as the heavenly hosts wildly danced over the eternal inheritance this daughter received.
Thailand literally means “land of smiles”. The Thai people are seemingly full of joy in their bright faces. But there is a hollowness in their eyes. A deep chasm in their souls.
I believe the Father gave me just a glimpse of his own heart by breaking mine the way his broke that day. The way it breaks every day.
Jesus took his last earth-breath with tears streaming down his face. His heart broken for his children. Then his very first uttered words as he woke from his death-sleep inquired his daughter’s tears; his beloved’s broken heart.
“Dear One, why do you weep?”
“Don’t you remember what I did for you?”
“Don’t you remember my promise to you?”
“Oh Grace, don’t you know how much I love you?”
The power and glory and might of our God is often too bright for us to behold. But that’s why he sent his star-son to stream his heaven-light for us to taste; to receive even just a glimmer of his dazzling light. Then, our Father of Lights chose us. Us. To be his ministers. His flames of fire. He sent his Son-light to nail the whole of our sin to the cross, but only to dawn heavenly color within. He ignites us with the purest of flames so the heavenly can catch. In her obedience, like Mary, Yok had the deep joy of being the messenger to her sister-in-love. To be the light-bringer that carried the life-altering news of our risen Lord!
What a wonder to celebrate the resurrected Son in this dark corner of the world. Because this is exactly where Jesus himself meets you. In your darkest hour-when all hope seems lost, Hope himself breaks through with his matchless love, gently scoops you up, and this is where you are found. Held. Whole.
When Jesus hung on that tree and declared “It is finished!” The heavens echoed,
“But my love never is.”
