“Break my heart for what breaks Yours//Everything I am for Your Kingdom’s cause”
^This was my prayer going into the race Little did I know how real it would become…
Granada, Nicaragua
Central Park
Painted on the side of a beautiful cathedral is an elderly woman. Tattered clothes. Swollen feet, swollen legs, open wounds.
Hundreds of people walking by but they’ve seen the painting a thousand times.
Seen & Ignored.
We walk by. She’s seen. I’m bothered. We keep walking.
We walk by. She’s noticed. I’m processing. We keep walking.
We walk by. I can’t bear to keep walking. She’s loved. I’m broken.
Her name is Aurora Maria. Walked past and ignored so many times that she became like a window – just part of a building, nothing to be noticed. We were in Granada for debrief – a few days to come together with our squad and our leaders to process our first month of ministry and move forward into the next few months. We weren’t there for ministry but it happened. When we stopped to talk to Aurora Maria, she told us that she knew the Lord and she was so delighted and open to us praying with her. She took a liking to our team and specifically, to me. She said she felt a connection with me and hugged me so tight. She literally wouldn’t let me go. I didn’t care how dirty or clean she was. It didn’t matter. I felt the spirit of God when I hugged that woman. When we walked away, my heart was broken for her. And when I say broken, I can’t even explain the weight that I felt in my spirit for this woman. Aurora Maria was like a character straight out of a movie scene. Her swollen legs and feet, her open wounds and scars, the way she crawled across the ground because she couldn’t walk.
I knew that God was allowing me to feel what He feels for His children. He made His heart transparent to me that day and without expecting it, He was breaking my heart for the things that break His.
Aurora Maria wanted 2 things: a hamburger and a dress to wear to church on Christmas. We delightfully obliged to her requests. When we brought her the dress, she didn’t want us to leave. We had to set real expectations that in a few days, we would be leaving Granada. She cried. Even though we told her that we would see her again before we left, she didn’t want to let us walk away that day. She didn’t believe that she would see us again. The weird thing is, she was right. We never saw her again. She wasn’t in the same spot that she had been for days, every time we walked by. She couldn’t have gone far because she couldn’t even walk. (Yes, I know I can be gullible but she wasn’t faking it guys.) We looked all over the square for her for 2 days… no where to be found.
My spirit was so conflicted. So angry that she sat outside of a church for only God knows how long, whose people wouldn’t help her but instead shunned her away. So broken for her pain. So lost in wondering how & if I could do anything to help.
I still don’t know what happened to her. I’d like to believe that if anything, the Lord took her pain away and made her whole again. Whether that be on this earth or in heaven.
It was several months ago at training camp that our squad was talking about their favorite books, movies, TV shows, talents, hobbies, etc. I thought to myself, “I can’t even join this conversation.” I don’t watch much TV, I don’t remember movies when I do watch them, nor do I remember books much longer after I’ve read them. I don’t have many talents or hobbies. What have I done with my life?! And I realized that I spend time with people. We don’t even have to be doing anything but I find true joy in the presence of others.
I have been trying to find how that fits into ministry. I’ve wondered where my true passion lies.
It was that first night we talked with Aurora Maria. We were having dinner and while trying to process my feelings about this encounter we just had, I couldn’t hold back the tears and expressed that I didn’t know why I felt so much for this woman. It was then that my teammate said, “It’s because you’re passionate about this.”
That was revelation for me. My passion lies with people. I long to pray for the wounded and broken hearted and see miracles, healing. I believe in it, without a doubt and God is preparing to be His vessel in that.
Aurora Maria reminds me of Hebrews 13:1-2
“Keep on loving each other as brothers. Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.”
She will forever remain a mystery to me. But never will I forget her. God used her to solidify my identity in Him even more and my heart longs for the day I get to see her again!
