Helloooo!! Yesterday, I was reflecting on feedback and the importance of it, especially in the body of Christ. Feedback is received differently by every person; however, I think that most people struggle seeing it in a positive light and pass up the opportunity to use it to their advantage. The only reason I can think for this is our internal struggle with confidence and a need to portray a flawless image from the outside.
I believe that to some extent, everyone is insecure about something and is in search of acceptance from people that surround them. They desperately want someone to speak the things that they fail to believe to be true about themselves into existence. They try to make themselves appear so strong and put together on the outside that they begin to put a mask over their life and lose sight of their true identity. At the same time, the wall of insecurities that they battle is increasingly getting taller and the wall of confidence is quickly breaking down. Due to this process, when someone comes along and attempts to give them feedback, their natural response is anger and the urge to prove this person wrong. This is because they feel like their guard has been let down and they are now vulnerable to attack. Their mask has been uncovered. How many of you can relate to this at some point in time? I know I sure can!!
Nowadays, so many of us are so caught up in this worldly life and the need to fit in that we won’t allow ourselves to admit our flaws, which in turn is harmful to us because we won’t let people feed into us and allow us room for growth. Ephesians 4:15 states “Instead, speaking truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.” Because we are each valuable to the body, it is essential that we are working on continual growth. We all need to be looking out for each-other and speaking love and truth over one another. Ephesians 4:25 states “Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.” Notice that this verse says to speak “truthfully”. It does not say to speak the things that you think someone desires to hear. It is so important that we are not focused on building up our own image, because ultimately that is all temporary and lacks any value.
Feedback is meant to be helpful, not hurtful!! To those giving feedback, you can speak truthfully while still being kind. Don’t use feedback as an excuse to lash out at someone that you think needs a piece of your mind. To those receiving feedback, don’t get defensive. Trust me, I know full and well that that can be difficult and a lot of times, the natural response is to defend yourself…but there is no need. Most times, all that will do is start an argument. Just say thank you and move on, whether the feedback is true or not. Be thankful that someone has given you a vision of where you could improve in your life that you may have been blinded to see.
